some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Unlike most of the developed countries, there are several nations where
students
have to deprive
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
free time to perform academically well;
thus
,
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
live under constant pressure.
This
essay will elucidate the causative factors of
this
unfortunate phenomenon and the remedial measures that can be taken to ameliorate the fate of these youngsters.
This
problem can be caused by
multitude
Add an article
a multitude
show examples
of reasons. The most conspicuous contributing factor is the inadequate higher educational
Correct your spelling
opportunities
oppurtunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
provided by the education system which increases the competition among
students
to obtain eligibility to enter a reputed university. Due to
this
reason,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young individuals may have to scarify their leisure time. Another pivotal aspect is the limited outstanding
career
Correct your spelling
opportunities
oppurtunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
available in the
country
that matches the diversity of the skills present among
students
.
Therefore
, to avoid being unemployed in future, the
students
delligently
Correct your spelling
diligently
engage in education. The lower the
academical
Replace the word
academic
show examples
and
career
Correct your spelling
opportunities
oppurtunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
a
country
produce
Correct subject-verb agreement
produces
show examples
, the more stress is placed upon the
students
.
Nevertheless
, the problem is not insurmountable and the tension
upon
Change preposition
among
show examples
young
students
can be tackled with appropriate measures to enhance
educational
Correct article usage
the educational
show examples
and
career
aspects of the
country
.
Firstly
, the higher educational
Correct your spelling
opportunities
oppurtunitis
Correct your spelling
opportunities
for
students
must be increased by expanding the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of
students
enrolled for university in a year as well as by
Correct your spelling
creating
show examples
creatin
Correct your spelling
creating
show examples
pathways for
vocational based
Add a hyphen
vocational-based
show examples
studies for
students
who are interested in sharpening their
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
skills.
Moreover
, bureaucrats should take measures to create numerous
varities
Correct your spelling
varieties
of
career
Correct your spelling
opportunities
oppurtunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
that can match the educational specializations the
students
have attained. To exemplify, if universities offer
marine related
Add a hyphen
marine-related
show examples
Correct your spelling
courses
sources
cources
Correct your spelling
courses
, the government must take attempts to strengthen the marine sector of the
country
with
relevant
Add an article
a relevant
the relevant
show examples
occupation
Fix the agreement mistake
occupations
show examples
that these graduates can be recruited
following
Change preposition
for following
show examples
graduation. In conclusion, it can be
recapitutated
Correct your spelling
recapitulated
that, since young people are the future generation of a
country
placing a huge pressure upon them for academic purposes can have detrimental effects.
However
,
this
consequence can be
tackeld
Correct your spelling
tackled
with long-term prophylactic ,
easures
Correct your spelling
measures
implemented by the government.In
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • high expectations
  • academic success
  • future success
  • competitive nature
  • modern education systems
  • top grades
  • prestigious universities
  • high-paying jobs
  • rise of technology
  • social media platforms
  • physical activities
  • relaxation
  • extracurricular demands
  • multiple responsibilities
  • economic factors
  • lower-income families
  • part-time jobs
  • academic pressures
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