IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more diadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation #diadvantages
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Now working long hours becoming more and more common in today’s lifestyle. Some
people
Use synonyms
 of them devote themselves to working and rarely spend their
time
Use synonyms
 on leisure activities. It
Correct your spelling
will
wil
Correct your spelling
will
 take more
damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
show examples
 than benefits. It will discuss two aspects in the following content. On the one hand, Many
people
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 have to
working
Change the verb form
work
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long
Correct article usage
a long
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time
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 cause of
need
Correct article usage
the need
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a
Change preposition
for a
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lot of money.
For example
Linking Words
, according to a recent survey of
people
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 between the age
middle
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of middle
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, a lot of
people
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 are ready to work for 6 days a
weak
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week
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 to earn more and buy their favourite branded attires and various famous exorbitant electronic gadgets.
Secondly
Linking Words
, since some
people
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 relax their work, they do not intend to take leave or devote
time
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for
Change preposition
to
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 entertainment activities.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, naturally because of working long hours,
people
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 devote less
time
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 to their children and other close
people
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. Working for a long
time
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 is harmful to health
,
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apply
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 because the parts of the
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body
bady
Correct your spelling
body
 that have worked for a long
time
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 are very tired and need to rest from
time
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 to
time
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.
For example
Linking Words
, to the heart, to the brain and to others. Due to
this
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, many elderly
people
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 suffer from stroke, heart attack and similar serious diseases. In
summarize
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summary
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, in my view, I believe there are more disadvantages when it comes to working long times. Spending a lot of
time
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 at work is very harmful to health.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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