IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that the individuals who make the most money are the most successful. Others believe that the most successful are those who contribute to society, such as scientists and teachers. Discuss both perspectives and give your opinion?

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No one can deny that Few massive believe that peoples who earn a chunk amount of
money
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 are the most successful.
However
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, Other side individuals think that the successful
person
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 who helped the community
such
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 as experts and tutors. In my opinion, successful people contribute to society because these people will not forget about others'
life
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 I will discuss both views in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
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,
money
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 is important for every
person
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 in
life
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 because everything will be purchased by the power of
money
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.
In other words
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, All high-paid salaries jobs will require good qualification
such
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 as a degree in university because well-paid work will be a dream for everyone and good work that's mean success in
life
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.
For example
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, British news channels reveal headlines for the biggest Richman in the globe the name Elon Musk and
this
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 is very successful in their
life
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 because of their hardworking will succeed in
life
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.
Thus
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,
money
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 power is important in
life
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 and successful persons have earned a lot of
money
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 in seconds.
On the other hand
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, The most powerful
person
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 who help the public and
this
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 kind of peoples live in every
person
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 in the heart. To explain, Scientists and teachers will be important for every nation and it will be the future of development and these
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person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 persons the most successful
instead
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 of who earn a good amount of
money
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.
For instance
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, The Australian newspapers authority will declare that lecturers and physiologists are very popular in every region because they contributed to society.
Hence
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, scientists are important for development and these majors will be more successful in future. In conclusion, that doesn't matter who makes
money
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 and will be successful in
life
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 because
money
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 cannot buy happiness.
Moreover
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, Tutors will be more successful without the help of
money
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 because they helped their nations.

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