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Band 5

Some people say that the only way to get success is to go to universities while others think that it depends on other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #success #universities #factors
There are controversial perspectives heating up a debate over how to become a high-achiever.
While
 some claim that having a learning journey in institutions is the sole method to
make
Verb problem
achieving
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 a high achievement, the opposite makes a statement that it has
heavy
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a heavy
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 reliance on alternative elements.
While
 each has its own perks, I would contend that it is optimal to combine both mentioned factors. Without a shadow of a doubt, accessing tertiary education is taken into keen consideration for
people
 to achieve high accomplishments in their lives. Substantial lecturers, professors or science experts in their colleges can teach specialization knowledge and
skill
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skills
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 which is helpful for students in the future.
In
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At
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 Hanoi University of Science and Technology, students learn the foundation knowledge of advanced mathematics and fundamental physics to apply in research science after that. Absorbing valuable knowledge in universities is one of the significant factors
to gain
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in gaining
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high-fruitfulness
Correct your spelling
high fruitfulness
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.
While
 the necessity of enrolling in colleges is widely acknowledged, the fruitfulness of
people
 has a heavy reliance on other elements,
such
 as soft
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
. If
people
 have soft skills, they will
make
Verb problem
be
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 valuable for their company so they can have more opportunities for career advancements. If
people
 have problem-solving skills, they will have more experience
to deal
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in dealing
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 with difficult problems rapidly.
Therefore
, they can bring substantial value to their company and easily become high-achievers. In conclusion,
while
 getting to academies brings immense effects on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
’s fruitfulness, there are considerable factors which greatly impact high achievements
such
 as soft
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
. In conclusion, achieving high accomplishment is determined by not only getting to
colleges
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college
show examples
 but
also
 other alternatives.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
Incorporate more varied and complex sentence structures to improve coherence. Use a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences for a more engaging and sophisticated essay.
task achievement
Include more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This could significantly enhance your task achievement score by demonstrating your ideas more vividly.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to punctuation and transitional phrases to improve the flow of your essay. Proper use of these elements can aid in the clarity and cohesion of your thoughts, contributing to a higher score in coherence and cohesion.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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