IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion?

#people #government #health #care #education #agreement #government’s #responsibility
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It has been frequently perspectives that high authorities need to be liable for providing medical and educational services free of cost to their citizens,
whereas
 others
statments
Correct your spelling
state
 that it should be taken
consideration
Change preposition
into consideration
show examples
 by
Correct article usage
the workforces
show examples
workforces
Fix the agreement mistake
workforce
show examples
. In
this
, essay
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would contend that it is
nessary
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necessary
 for the states to
support
 both
of
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apply
show examples
facets ;
however
 , they should not
fully
Add a missing verb
be fully
show examples
 paid . The
explaination
Correct your spelling
explanation
 of
this
 could be that it is indispensable the
authotities
Correct your spelling
authorities
 take
responsibilities
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responsibility
show examples
 for
finanacially
Correct your spelling
financially
financial
 and
medically
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medical
show examples
support
 . It can improve people’s quality of the
workfoce
Correct your spelling
workforce
 and physical health .
For example
 , the leading countries
have
Correct pronoun usage
that have
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developed
economy
Fix the agreement mistake
economies
show examples
such
 as Germany and Holland are free education or
offers
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offer
show examples
 scholarships for high school students .
Thus
 , paying for both
of
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apply
show examples
backbone industries
are
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is
show examples
crucial for the
gorvernment
Correct your spelling
government
.
While
 the redeeming feature of
provide
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providing
show examples
 financial
support
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 widely acknowledged ,
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 should not be taken care
for
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of in
show examples
 all aspects . Because
of
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apply
show examples
the state budget is not enough for others in
today
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today's
show examples
 society . People should pay for a part of
medicalcare
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the medical
show examples
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
educational system , they can bear accountability for their
action
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actions
show examples
 or awareness of
protect
Wrong verb form
protecting
show examples
person’s
Correct article usage
a person’s
show examples
 health and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education . Construction of facilities ,
thriving
Correct word choice
and thriving
show examples
 amusement
park
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parks
show examples
 can be cited as outstanding instances
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 alternatives that the state
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 to invest in . If
authotiry
Correct your spelling
authority
 poured money into all , some slothful people or people who drop out of school would
also
 have benefits , it can be unfair for responsible citizens .
Therefore
,
tution
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tuition
fee
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fees
show examples
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
 and
healthcare
Correct article usage
the healthcare
show examples
 system should not
cash
Add a missing verb
be cash
show examples
 in all by the state . In conclusion ,
while
 the necessity of financial
support
 is important for
Correct article usage
the developing
show examples
developing
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development
show examples
 of
nation
Add an article
the nation
a nation
show examples
 ,
other fee
Change the wording
another fee
other fees
show examples
 ought not to
fully
Add a missing verb
be fully
show examples
 paid by the
gorvernment
Correct your spelling
government
.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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structure
Ensure your essay has a clear structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea.
cohesion
Use transition words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs smoothly. This will help your essay flow better and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
task response
Respond directly to the essay prompt and make sure your opinion is clear. Develop your argument with specific reasons and examples.
grammar and spelling
Check your essay for grammatical errors and typos. Consider using online tools or asking someone to proofread your work.
language use
Vary your sentence structure and vocabulary to make your essay more engaging and to demonstrate a wider range of language skills.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental human rights
  • boosts the country's economy
  • productivity
  • public funding
  • equality and accessibility
  • socio-economic status
  • privatized
  • disparities
  • prioritize
  • people's well-being
  • inefficiencies
  • bureaucratic challenges
  • mixed approach
  • optimize
  • quality
  • availability
What to do next:
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