In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that this is the responsibility of governments to solve the problem. What extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #children #people #responsibility #governments

Nowadays,

children

around the world are suffering from obesity as well as

health

deterioration and many people believe that authorities should be responsible for

this

issue. In my opinion,

although

that is

their job to come up with better solutions, families

also

need to educate their offspring about their well-being.

To begin

with, governments can help to raise awareness of

children

’s

health

via media. A good example of

this

is using Facebook to educate the public. To be more specific,

health

specialists can hire famous actors who are appealing to

children

and ask them to give short presentations about the importance of

health

As a result

health

issues in a population might be taken into consideration as people use Facebook every day. When they are aware of the problem, they will know what to do to deter their

children

from ailments.

In addition

, parents should teach their

children

how to stay healthy to avoid getting fat and remain strong. The reason for

this

is that mothers and fathers live in the same house with their kids so they can give them helpful pieces of advice.

For instance

children

can be advised that exercising about 20 minutes a day can do wonders for their

health

Moreover

, if they work out, they can burn calories and boost their antibiotics. For that reason, their bodies will omit waste products from their internal organs and

help

Wrong verb form

helping

show examples

them to stay in shape and obtain good physical states. In conclusion, even though governments can tackle problems about

children

’s physical conditions, parents should

also

be included in

this

mission to help their

children

’s wellness.

Submitted by phamduchien711 on Fri Oct 07 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

epidemic
obesity
regulate
sedentary lifestyle
nutritional education
caloric intake
lifestyle diseases
physical inactivity
public health campaigns
regulatory measures
junk food
health initiatives
fiscal policies
metabolic disorders
parental guidance

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of travelling to a workplace every day. Do you think the advantages of working from home outweigh the disadvantages?
After the pandemic, the revolution on the working system enabled the choice for working remotely. While many employees considers this an efficient choice, some others think differently. This essay will support the idea that the advantages of this method does outweigh the disadvantages.
8
band
Some countries achieve international sporting success by building specialised facilities to train top athletes instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
It is argued that athletes who achieve top international success are trained by professional facilities only in some countries. I agree with the idea to some extent, but I believe that common people can also be successful through publicly accessible sports facilities that everyone can use.
7
band
Children find it difficult to pay attention or concentrate on school study what are the reasons? How can we solve this problem?
n contemporary society, it is increasingly evident that a majority of children worldwide are struggling to maintain focus on their academic pursuits. This issue can be attributed to various factors, and it is imperative that we seek effective solutions to alleviate this challenge.
7
band
Some people prefer to live in rented homes. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend
People's concern regarding the accommodation for living has been increasing lately while some of them say that rented homes are more beneficial rather than buying them. This topic has good and bad sides, I will explain both of them with the consideration of financial stability.
6
band
The increasing availability of low-cost airlines now lets people travel around the world. Some feel this is a positive development while others think it is negative overall. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
In contemporary societies, the number of affordable airlines has been going up, resulting in more opportunities for people from every socioeconomic background to visit numerous parts of the world. Some groups of individuals believe that while there are substantial drawbacks that align with this transformation, on the contrary, the benefits outweigh the detrimental effects. However, the other groups maintain an opposite view, claiming that the disadvantages are undeniably higher than the benefits. I completely agree with the former perspective, and I will elaborate on the reasons behind my viewpoint.

In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that this is the responsibility of governments to solve the problem. What extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of travelling to a workplace every day. Do you think the advantages of working from home outweigh the disadvantages?

Some countries achieve international sporting success by building specialised facilities to train top athletes instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Children find it difficult to pay attention or concentrate on school study what are the reasons? How can we solve this problem?

Some people prefer to live in rented homes. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend

The increasing availability of low-cost airlines now lets people travel around the world. Some feel this is a positive development while others think it is negative overall. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.