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Band 3.5

Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born.What might be the reasons for this?What are the advantages and disadvantages

#people #lives
Some
people
 live in a
country
 close to where they were born.
This
 essay agrees that
people
 live in a place close to their homeland.
First
Add a comma
,First
show examples
this
 essay discusses the advantages of living in other
countries
,and
secondly
,
it’s
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 negative aspects. On the one hand,there are advantages
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 living in foreign
countries
.
People
 who live in other
countries
 learn new things.They master their fields better.
For example
,according to statistics,
people
living
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 far away from their longing for their
country
,and of course,
this
 situation leads to an increase in
people
’s patriotism.
On the other hand
,there are many disadvantages of living in another foreign
country
.Some
people
 who live in another
country
 may not want to return to their
country
 later.
This
 has a negative impact on the decrease of the population and development of our
country
.
For example
, according to the data,a decrease in the population of a
country
 leads to the dispersal of that nation. In the end,some
people
 live in other
countries
.I think it
necessary
Add a missing verb
is necessary
show examples
 for
people
 to live in other places for a certain period of time and return to their place of birth as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
qualified
specialist
Fix the agreement mistake
specialists
show examples
 in their profession.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Familiarity
  • Comfort
  • Social ties
  • Family ties
  • Belonging
  • Resources
  • Opportunities
  • Fear
  • Unknown
  • Financial constraints
  • Cultural attachment
  • Language barriers
  • Limited education
  • Skills
What to do next:
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