IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Topic: Some people think that men are naturally more competitive than women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#topic #people #men #women
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued that
women
Use synonyms
 are less competitive than
men
Use synonyms
 naturally. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion and think
men
Use synonyms
 are naturally doing better than
women
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I believe
men
Use synonyms
 are born with an
advantage
Use synonyms
 that
women
Use synonyms
 do not
Correct your spelling
possess
show examples
posses
Correct your spelling
possess
show examples
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is physical strength. If a
man
Use synonyms
 and a
woman
Use synonyms
 are required to lift items to a building, a
man
Use synonyms
 would be of more
advantage
Use synonyms
 because he naturally has more strength than his counterpart.
For instance
Linking Words
 at a
weight lighting
Add a hyphen
weight-lighting
show examples
 competition males
where
Replace the word
were
show examples
 found to lift more than a female.
Thus
Linking Words
 a
man
Use synonyms
 has more natural
advantage
Use synonyms
 than a
woman
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, a
man
Use synonyms
's intelligence quotient is higher than a
Use synonyms
woman
Change noun form
woman's
show examples
 naturally as
men
Use synonyms
 tend to think outside the box more to solve problems and create solutions.
In other
Linking Words
words
Add a comma
,words
show examples
 a
man
Use synonyms
 has to think beyond his available resources to provide solutions to his family on a daily basis which gives them an
advantage
Use synonyms
 over a
woman
Use synonyms
.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
research conducted in
usa
Correct your spelling
USA
 amongst both
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 proved that 80% of
men
Use synonyms
where
Replace the word
were
show examples
 able to think more critically than
women
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
 are more competitive. In conclusion, I strongly believe that
men
Use synonyms
 are naturally more competitive than
women
Use synonyms
 because they are more physically empowered and they are more intelligent.
Submitted by david.oniyinde on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: