IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Individuals and countries cannot help everyone who needs help in the world, so they should only be concerned about their own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#individuals #countries #world #communities
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These days, public debate has been going on
whether
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about whether
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 people should care more about the issues of their local environment
instead
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 of global ones
,
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apply
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 since it is impossible to match the needs of every person alive. Compelling justifications of both viewpoints will be presented in order to broaden one’s horizons and spread knowledge regarding the topic. To embark on, coping with the problems of a
closer
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closed
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 circle of surroundings can be beneficial for several reasons. To start with, it allows
Correct pronoun usage
us to
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to focus
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focusing
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 on
less
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fewer
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 concerns.
This
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 can help to dig deeper into why some events, trends or changes are occurring.
As a result
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, it is possible that many would get acquainted with arguments or factors they would not have heard
otherwise
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.
Consequently
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, individuals may change their opinion and agree on decisions, proposed by others, and avoid unnecessary conflict. On top of that, by engaging in studying
challenges
Correct article usage
the challenges
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 of a
more
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apply
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nearby community, a person feels the impact on themselves too. For
this
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 reason, their awareness is raised substantially and their motivation is levelled up. Keeping that in mind, it becomes clear that they are more likely to immensely strive to tackle the issues
in
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apply
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an
Correct your spelling
as
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 effective as possible manner. But narrowing down the view of people does not come without a range of shortcomings. One of them is that it makes the information from some countries less heard. As a consequence, they might be left out without any support. Eventually, a crisis might occur in the land. If that becomes the case, the whole world loses some part of
heritage
Correct pronoun usage
its heritage
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.
For example
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, a country might have been renowned for
a
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its
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 magnificent culture and
sharing
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for sharing
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the
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its
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 traditions of it globally.
Moreover
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, the international community is less likely to collaborate.
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As the
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The
Correct article usage
A
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 result of that fewer approaches, utilizing the strengths of some nations, would be implemented. Inevitably, projects, serving to ensure the well-being of societies, would be worked out less productively. On the basis of the above discussion, it is feasible to think that it should not be encouraged to leave out international issues without an adequate amount of attention.
However
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, probably the main focus of humans on the globe should be to serve those who are near
to
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apply
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them.
Submitted by oimigle on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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