IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

It has been suggested that everyone in the world wants to own a car, a TV, and a fridge. Do you think the disadvantages of such a development outweigh the advantages?

#world #car #tv #fridge #development
Nowadays, there’s a debate among many folks regarding the use of materialistic things
such
 as motor vehicles and home appliances.
This
 essay will answer the question that whether the demerits of the same are outweighed by the merits.
To begin
 with, the foremost concern of using
such
 consumeristic things is the adverse effect caused to the environment. The usage of electronic items is highly detrimental to nature as they are indisposable and
also
 somehow contribute to global warming.
Additionally
, frequent use of motor vehicles has a significant contribution to air pollution. According to recent research conducted in India, 70% of the population is dependent on fossil fuels, apparently affecting the environment. Apart from that, it
also
 causes deleterious health issues as these electronic items emit inimical radiation which causes several diseases in humans.
For instance
, highly relying on screens has harmful effects on the eye.
On the other hand
, there are several reasons which outweigh the drawbacks of
such
 advancement in technology.
Firstly
,
this
 evolution has made our life easy and productive. People can save a lot of time by using
such
 electronic gadgets and can
also
 enhance the quality of outputs.
For instance
, the invention of automobiles has significantly affected the lives of many people by solving transportation problems, especially in the case of working people.
Secondly
, the development of electronic appliances has made our life handy and faster especially as far as home appliances are concerned.
In particular
, with a single ,touch we can easily automate various tasks at home.
Finally
, recycling
such
 products can solve the issue of pollution. In conclusion, though there are various drawbacks of
such
 products they can be easily outweighed by the advantages being provided making our life convenient.
Submitted by rshubham996 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: