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Writing Samples
Band 7

in schools and universities, some girls tend to choose arts subjects, while boys choose to studyscience subjects. What are the reasons? Do you think this trend should be changed?

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Higher education provides various majors and subjects for every student to pursue. It is often discussed that the majority of boys rather choose to study science
while
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 girls prefer to study arts. I believe there are multiple reasons for
this
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 phenomenon that will be demonstrated in
this
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 essay below. Parents or families who live with a conservative mind where they tend to label their children based on gender might be the case in
this
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 situation.
This
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 mindset might be lingering inside their kids' thoughts
while
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 they are considering their major.
For instance
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, my grandparents were not giving my mother a chance to pursue her dreams as a neurologist, they encouraged my uncle
instead
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. Despite that, boys and girls usually have their own significant tools or toys that they have already known since they were born. Those usual activities could create a hobby and a routine, so that becomes an important aspect for them to choose their next journey.
For example
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, I was born in a neighbourhood where almost all the residents work as tailors, which led me to take my major in fashion design.
As a result
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, I personally believe that there is nothing to be changed in
this
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 case if the reasons that girls dominantly study in the arts
while
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 boys in the scientific field are because of their interests and aptitude only. Their provision since they were a child could be the start for them to reach their ambitions.
On the other hand
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, if the case continuously happens because of the stereotype regarding both genders,
then
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 the best way to reduce it is to advocate for them to choose a wide range of education.
For instance
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, there is one retarded school in which most of the female students are believing that they are only suitable for the social science path, later the regional community advocated for them that in order to choose their major, none of the reasons matters,
besides
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 their ability and interests.
To conclude
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, family and environment can be classified as factors in the decision-making for a student to choose their next path. Not only will support their studies but the deep interest and skills of both genders would support their studies.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a logical order and clear progression throughout the essay. Begin with an introduction that outlines the points to discuss, followed by body paragraphs that delve into each point, and conclude with a comment that summarizes the essay and reiterates your stance on the issue.
coherence cohesion
Introductions and conclusions are essential for framing your essay. The introduction should clearly state your intentions, and the conclusion should summarize key points and statements made, together with your own deductions.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with appropriate reasoning and examples. Every significant point mentioned should be further developed with explanations or examples that reinforce your argument or point of view.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task. In your response, ensure that the reasons for the trend and your opinion on whether it should be changed are both fully explored and discussed.
task achievement
Make sure your ideas are clear and comprehensive. Each paragraph should focus on conveying a single main idea that contributes to answering the main question. Avoid unrelated discussions or ambiguity.
task achievement
Provide precise and relevant examples to substantiate your claims. Specific examples can effectively support your reasons and improve the persuasive quality of your essay.
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