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Band 6.5

Some people think that it's a good idea to socialise with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it's important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give own opinion.

#people #idea #socialise #work #colleagues #evenings #weekends #life
Many people think they spend a lot of/a great amount of
time
 with their
colleagues
 outside of office hours.
However
, other people believe that working life should not be connected with personal life. In my opinion, sometimes it is normal to meet with
colleagues
. Some individuals consider socialisation with coworkers after
work
 a beneficial pastime for them. The
Majority
Fix capitalization
majority
show examples
 of people who
work
 more than eight hours per day, often find their workplace as their second home. They spend a great deal of
time
 both at
work
 and after
work
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 they develop very tight bonds .
For example
/
As a result
, they can play football,
tennis
Correct word choice
and tennis
show examples
, and walk outside together in a club after office hours.
Consequently
, not only does
this
 help to create a friendly atmosphere at the workplace but
also
 leads to increased productivity.
However
, others who do not like to be with
colleagues
 more
time
 or do not like more
time
 at
work
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
prefer to be with their family. They can do activities
together with
 their family
such
 as travel to the beach or go to the park.
This
 happens because they want to solve the problem of lack of closeness with your family. In my opinion, you need to balance your daily routine, you need to communicate with
colleagues
 and spend
time
 with your family. Perhaps you can hold coffee meetings with your
colleagues
 once a month to relax a little from the
work
 environment.
Then
 the rest of the weekend, we can stay at home and socialize with our children or wife. In conclusion, I would like to say that you should always keep a balance between family and
work
. So that there are no problems both in the family and with
colleagues
.
Submitted by genartem1986 on

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relevant specific examples
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points. For instance, give details of how socializing can improve workplace relationships or family bonds.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single clear and comprehensive idea. This will enhance clarity and coherence in your writing.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, outlining the main argument effectively.
logical structure
Ideas are generally well-organized, helping to maintain a logical flow throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • colleagues
  • socialising
  • work relationships
  • teamwork
  • positive
  • supportive
  • work environment
  • personal relationships
  • collaboration
  • communication
  • stress
  • well-being
  • work-life balance
  • personal time
  • boundaries
  • conflicts
  • burnout
  • professional
  • personal identities
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