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Band 4.5

Should parents be obliged to immune their children against common childhood diseases? or do individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children? What is your view of this practice?

#parents #children #childhood #diseases #individuals #right #immunise #practice
The issue of childhood immunisation has gained
lot
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a lot
show examples
 of attention in the
last
 few years with
Correct your spelling
increasing
increaing
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increasing
 voices advocating against it. The question of whether or not
parents
 should be able to choose to
vaccinate
 their
children
 or whether it should be made compulsory is a complex one.
This
 essay
,
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apply
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 will argue that
Correct your spelling
despite
desipite
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despite
 the importance of individual
choice
, immunisation should be forced for the greater benefit of society.
Firstly
,
positive
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the positive
show examples
 effects of vaccination can be seen in all countries where it has
made
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been made
show examples
 compulsory. It is because of mandatory vaccination that in the countries
such
 as
,
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apply
show examples
 England, Australia and the United States
diseases
 like polio,
small pox
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smallpox
show examples
have
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has
show examples
 been eradicated completely. If
parents
 were able to have a
choice
 not to
vaccinate
 their
children
, these societies would be still afflicted by these
diseases
. So, in the long run, immunising
children
 saves lives because it
control
Correct subject-verb agreement
controls
show examples
spread
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the spread
show examples
 of preventable
diseases
protects
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and protects
show examples
 the population. Despite the above, some people argue that it is unfair to
vaccinate
children
 because they are not old enough to make the
choice
 by themselves and is
therefore
 an
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infringement
infringment
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infringement
 on their human rights.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 it is the role of
parents
 to make decisions related to their
children
's health. Most vaccines must be administered in childhood before it is too late. Once the
Correct your spelling
disease
desease
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disease
 takes hold and spread, it could lead to
epidemic
Add an article
an epidemic
show examples
 in society which could lead to global or
notional
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national
show examples
 disaster.
Therefore
parents
 must be obliged to
vaccinate
 their
children
.
Although
 I believe, people should have free will or
choice
, when it comes to the issue of immunising
children
, evidence has shown it is the best way to prevent
spread
Add an article
the spread
show examples
 of
diseases
 and save lives. Ultimately, enforcing immunisation is
greater
Correct article usage
a greater
show examples
 overall
Correct your spelling
decision
desision
Correct your spelling
decision
 for humanity.
Submitted by deepakrayaguru on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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