IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people say that television is useful for education, while others say it is useful only for entertainment. Discus both views and give your opinion.

#people #television #education #entertainment #discus
Nowadays, T.V has become an integral part of our lifestyle,
as a result
 of which a few people argue that it is a good tool to educate society,while
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 say its sole purpose is entertainment only. In my opinion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 agree with the former notion that it is a useful medium to educate people and points to support my notion are discussed in the following paragraphs.
To begin
 with, those who refute assert that most of the content relayed on television has a
negligable
Correct your spelling
negligible
 amount of educational stuff in it. Admittedly, makers usually make shows on topics , which do not have too much to offer in order to educate people and their only goal is to earn profits for the owners.
Hence
, when we talk about teaching something life-changing the tele is not the medium.
On the contrary
, those who
refuse
Add the particle
torefuse
show examples
 say that despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all the odds there are few channels on the box,which breaks the ice. To be precise, news channels, and educational channels
such
 as Discovery, National Geographic and so on
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
add up to the knowledge of viewers and helping in enlightening
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Therefore
, one cannot say that the television box has nothing to offer in illuminating the minds. To fortify
further
, it is
powerful
Add an article
a powerful
show examples
 tool to reach out
Change preposition
to
show examples
individuals. In fact, each and every one of us everyday watches the tube despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
being too
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
occupied the whole day.Resultantly, governing bodies
relies
Correct subject-verb agreement
rely
show examples
 on
this
 medium to convey important messages regarding vaccination drives, announcing schemes for commoners and many more.
Thus
, it is not right to say that the boob tube has no hand in being informational to the population. To sum up, undoubtedly availability of every kind of content on the idiot box makes it vulnerable but its role in spreading useful information in form of news,
life-saving
Correct word choice
and life-saving
show examples
 hacks shown in programs are making a huge difference in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society when we talk about educating them.
Submitted by parmarjas3 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: