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Band 5

Some people think that teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Other think adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities.

#people #years #time #people’s #lives #adult #life #happiness #spite #responsibilities
Living for the enjoyment of your soul can happen to all ages. The
gladness
 of your soul can happen both young
age
 and mature
age
.
Therefore
,
It's depends
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It depends
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 on how you design your
life
.
This
 essay will discuss in the following paragraphs both views as well as why
i
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I
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 personally think that living happily is driven by multiple factors.
Firstly
, younger
people
 are extremely elated during
this
age
 because they are not expected to earn money, take care of their family and suffered from any disease, as their parents are already taking care of them.
In addition
, young
people
 contain with many power, freedom and
life
 pathway.
On the other hand
, they may seek some task or information that they didn't think before doing it. There might be
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
 and
change
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changes
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 in the whole
life
 in the future.
As a result
,  most
people
 still think of being young
age
 as the best time of their lives.
Secondly
, the views of being mature
age
 are like
a
Correct article usage
apply
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table
turns
Correct subject-verb agreement
turn
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 which is so much different from an adolescent. Being mature will come up with apply plenty of responsibilities due to a real chapter of your
life
apply
Wrong verb form
applying
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 starting. Some
people
 need to take care of their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
, work hard to get money or suffer from
disease
Add an article
the disease
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.
Moreover
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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mature
people
 evaluate their
gladness
 by fame, wealth and prestige. These are suffered things compare to adolescent
life
.
However
, the
people
 who can achieve these things might refer to the
gladness
 in their
life
. In conclusion, young
age
 and mature
age
 have their own personal way to determine the
gladness
 of their
life
. In my opinion, I believe that being young is the best part of
life
 that brings tremendous moments that you will never forget it.
Submitted by arrif_asa on

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Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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