IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think watching TV is bad for children, while others think that watching TV has more beneficial effects on children. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #tv #children #effects
In the contemporary world, most
children
 spend their productive
day
Fix the agreement mistake
days
show examples
 in front of the
TV
 set. Some believe that watching
TV
 is an added advantage in terms of child development whereas some oppose the idea stating that it has many detrimental effects in long term. In my opinion, I believe watching
TV
 is rather beneficial if used effectively.
Therefore
, I do not see any negative impact in spending
time
 watching it.
This
 essay would discuss both views and provide examples for each argument.
Firstly
, spending too
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
 hours in front of the television is
time
-consuming
this
 will end up in
children
 not completing their studies on
time
.
Further
, watching
TV
 for a longer period of
time
 has serious damage to your health
such
 as poor vision and poor cognitive development,
therefore
, less screen
time
 would be helpful especially for young viewers in order to protect them from the harmful effect. UK scientists have identified that 80% of
children
 suffer from thinking and cognitive disorders
as a result
 of spending too much
time
 in front of the screen.
Secondly
, there are many arguments which contradict the above stating that television itself is an information library where
children
 can gain more knowledge and develop their language skills by watching it.
For instance
, for young viewers "Peppa Pig and Blippy" are some of the favourites and meaningful channels which significantly does a great impact in terms of developing
children
's knowledge and skills. In conclusion, even though watching television has some detrimental effects it is paramount important for a child to gather vast knowledge in terms of developing perspective.
Submitted by sumendrid on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary behavior
  • unrealistic perceptions
  • creative pursuits
  • social development
  • emotional development
  • constructive content
  • screen time
  • parental guidance
  • critical thinking
  • active learning
  • age-appropriate
  • media literacy
  • family bonding
  • moderation
  • perceive
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