In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message

In
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
societies, the majority of youngsters point out that they are able to put
the
Change the word
their
show examples
best foot forward to attain everything.
However
, there is
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
absolute agreement as many find it effectively whereas others consider everything associated negatively. In
essay
Add an article
the essay
an essay
show examples
, I will examine both pros and cons of
this
controversial issue. On the one hand , there are some advantages of hard work. It is undeniable that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adolescents always have much more intentions since their childhood and they suggest that everything will happen.
Therefore
they ought to do
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
their best in order to achieve their dreams.
For instance
, these days ,
major
Add an article
the major
show examples
young generation
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
trying to study hard in order to increase their knowledge and perspective Turning to the other side of the argument, many teenagers believe that everything will be achieved if
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
effort.
To begin
with, it can
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
cause to create some issues
such
as mental problems .
In other words
, when
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
subjects and other scientific things
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
day long,
firstly
, they will
extremely
Add a missing verb
be extremely
show examples
exhausted after that severe fatigue causes serious diseases, especially brain afflicts
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
way. In conclusion, having weighed everything mentioned up , I can come to the conclusion that it is believed that hard work is beneficial for adolescents.
Submitted by Premium Version on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: