The Government’s investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Government should invest these funds in public services instead .To what extent do you agree with the statements?

#government’s #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #government #funds #services #statements

Governing bodies are held responsible for allocating funds for areas that have value and provide greater service to their citizens. Many argue that investing in aesthetic areas

such

as art, music and drama is a wasteful endeavour, and should be used

instead

on social services. I completely disagree with

this

view

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and would explain the merits of promoting

arts

in the following paragraphs.

To begin

with, artistic subjects bring harmony to

Correct article usage

the

show examples

public. songs, theatre plays, and drawings all speak a common language and can be enjoyed by anyone, despite their different backgrounds.

For example

, when there was unrest between ethnic communities, films

such

as Sarojini, which shows the beauty of unity between Sinhalese and Tamils, played an important role in settling the ethnic tension.

Thus

, the

arts

play a pivotal role in bringing society together.

Moreover

, aesthetic material helps people to relax and relieve stress. Vibrant colours in a painting, soothing vocal and instrumental music, and moving energetic scenes on stage, all can stir emotion in the viewer and take them away from their problems and create a de-stress environment. They create an entirely different perspective of life that may even solve many pressing matters.

For instance

, for therapy for depression, often

arts

are used to help them.

Therefore

, can we disregard the important role

arts

and drama play in our mental well-being? Some are concerned about using funds to promote art saying they should be diverted to public services. In fact, it is clear that

arts

also

offer far equal benefits to the population as public services do. In conclusion, Aesthetic areas promote unity and the mental well-being of the nation. Government should fund them to support them produce more creative pieces.

Submitted by ghm_day on Sun Oct 09 2022

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

283 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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