IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry . Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #world #case
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With
progress
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the progress
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 of technology, many
of
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apply
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industries are growing up in all
of
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over
show examples
 the
world
Change to a plural noun
worlds
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.
for example
Linking Words
 ,agriculture being mechanize and we earn more commodities.but many
peoples
Use synonyms
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
 not enough
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
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 yet. Agriculture is developing every day and commodities are being more and more but
still
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,still
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 somebodies are
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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hungry .it is
Correct your spelling
true
tru
Correct your spelling
true
 that
food
Use synonyms
 product is raising
up
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apply
show examples
but we have to attention that
Birth
Correct article usage
the Birth
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 rate is growing up and that rate is bigger than
rate
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the rate
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 of
food
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 product so
Food
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 does not reach deprived
areas
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 and people of there have not enough
food
Use synonyms
.
also
Linking Words
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
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human
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humans
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of
Change preposition
from
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 certain
areas
Use synonyms
 have
a
Remove the article
apply
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poor earth and they can’t farm and
in addition
Linking Words
 to
they
Correct pronoun usage
that they
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have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
not
Correct your spelling
no
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 money
for
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to
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 buy
food
Use synonyms
 .
for
Linking Words
example
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,example
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 ٫
peoples
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 of central Africa
unable
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are unable
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 to
farming
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farm
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 and they are poor so most of the time they
have
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do have
show examples
 not anything
for
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to
show examples
 eat .
Solution
Correct article usage
The solution
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem that many people
have
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do have
show examples
 not any
food
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 maybe being with
global
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the global
a global
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 organization but we can help them by thrift
in
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apply
show examples
use
Correct article usage
the use
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 of
food
Use synonyms
.
although
Linking Words
 we can make a company and receive
people’
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people’s
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 help
then
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 send to
deprive
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deprived
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areas
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
also
Add a comma
,also
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 we can help
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
charity institutions that their ability is helping poor
Use synonyms
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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.
instead
Linking Words
, we can give them money to buy
food
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 for hungry
peoples
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.anyway,
government
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the government
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 have to help
in
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apply
show examples
solve
this
Linking Words
 problem because
this
Linking Words
 problem needs wealthy ability. In conclusion, we find that growing farming and products aren’t enough for all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
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 and still in some
areas
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 are being hungry.It has some reasons and some solutions that we analyzed
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
of them.
Submitted by Fa Ha on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
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