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Band 5

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry . Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #world #case
With
progress
Add an article
the progress
show examples
 of technology, many
of
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apply
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industries are growing up in all
of
Change preposition
over
show examples
 the
world
Change to a plural noun
worlds
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.
for example
 ,agriculture being mechanize and we earn more commodities.but many
peoples
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
 not enough
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
 yet. Agriculture is developing every day and commodities are being more and more but
still
Add a comma
,still
show examples
 somebodies are
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
hungry .it is
Correct your spelling
true
tru
Correct your spelling
true
 that
food
 product is raising
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
but we have to attention that
Birth
Correct article usage
the Birth
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 rate is growing up and that rate is bigger than
rate
Add an article
the rate
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 of
food
 product so
Food
 does not reach deprived
areas
 and people of there have not enough
food
.
also
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
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human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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of
Change preposition
from
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 certain
areas
 have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
poor earth and they can’t farm and
in addition
 to
they
Correct pronoun usage
that they
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have
Add a missing verb
do have
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not
Correct your spelling
no
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 money
for
Change preposition
to
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 buy
food
 .
for
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 ٫
peoples
 of central Africa
unable
Add a missing verb
are unable
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 to
farming
Replace the word
farm
show examples
 and they are poor so most of the time they
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
 not anything
for
Change preposition
to
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 eat .
Solution
Correct article usage
The solution
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 problem that many people
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
 not any
food
 maybe being with
global
Add an article
the global
a global
show examples
 organization but we can help them by thrift
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
 of
food
.
although
 we can make a company and receive
people’
Change noun form
people’s
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 help
then
 send to
deprive
Change the form of the verb
deprived
show examples
areas
.
also
Add a comma
,also
show examples
 we can help
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
charity institutions that their ability is helping poor
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.
instead
, we can give them money to buy
food
 for hungry
peoples
.anyway,
government
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the government
show examples
 have to help
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
solve
this
 problem because
this
 problem needs wealthy ability. In conclusion, we find that growing farming and products aren’t enough for all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
 and still in some
areas
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 are being hungry.It has some reasons and some solutions that we analyzed
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
of them.
Submitted by Fa Ha on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
What to do next:
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