Some people use social media to keep in touch with other people and news event. Do you think the advantages of this technology outweigh the disadvantages?

Many individuals in the world have advanced technical knowledge. In which mostly social platforms are highly busy with individual contact with family and friends and knowing current affairs. I would accept and stick to the advantages of the concept that outweigh the disadvantages.
Firstly
, apps and websites are widely used to connect people from one end of the world to the other to interact and share information.
This
interaction satisfies both for personal and the purpose of a person via so-called technology.
For instance
, office meetings are being arranged in
zoom
Capitalize word
Zoom
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meetings involving its branches in many cities or countries.
And a
Correct word choice
A
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man who works abroad enjoys a real-time conversation with their family via video calling via Instagram or
Whatsapp
Correct your spelling
WhatsApp
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. These technologies have made the
far
Correct word choice
apply
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world much closer by chatting , creating posts of one's day in life and saving memories.
Secondly
, there are some disadvantages like malpractices in terms of misuse of personal info, spam, security threats etc., For example, people who have experienced withdrawal directly from their bank accounts online. And some more have
also
faced digital morphing of their pictures
in
Change preposition
on
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porn websites which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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more sensible. ,
Still
Add a comma
Still,
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these kinds of threats are wisely retrieved and kept under control by the cybercrime of the country.
This
might not be a serious issue when compared to its enormous advantages.
To conclude
, society highly benefits from the advantages of social websites and apps. It's been immensely helpful in sharing one's feelings as a post , conversation by phone or video call, and
also
for official wide usage.
Submitted by TAMIZH012 on

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Task Response
Ensure to fully address all aspects of the prompt, including discussing both the advantages and disadvantages. Add more depth to your arguments by providing specific examples and elaborating on them.
Coherence and Cohesion
Maintain a clear and organized structure throughout the essay. Use transition words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • real-time updates
  • global connectivity
  • professional networking
  • fake news
  • misinformation
  • social media addiction
  • mental health issues
  • privacy concerns
  • personal information
  • viral content
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