IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays, in many countries women have full time jobs. Therefore, it is logical to share household chores equally between men and women. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

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Nowadays, both genders are considered equal in all respects. Females have full-time jobs in many countries. So, it is necessary to share household chores equally between men and women. I completely agree with
this
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 trend.
This
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 essay shall discuss details of my stance with examples in subsequent paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, today women are given the same opportunity for tasks.
Moreover
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, earlier they were not allowed to perform in companies and learn their living.But, these days they prove themselves to be financially independent and choose the life they want. to live.
For instance
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, my elder sister started working after her studies and because of her hard endeavour and dedication, she is now in a top position in a multinational company.
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, it shows if given a chance females are achieved correspond to their male counterparts.
Furthermore
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, it is believed that doing household tasks is not a duty but a life skill.
In other words
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,daily domestic work like cleaning and cooking should be learned by everyone at an early age to be self-sufficient in life. To cite an example, as per a report, schools in Japan teach children to prepare food and washing and it is known that Japan is one of the most developed countries in the world.
Thus
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,everybody should
knowledge
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have knowledge
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 of these fundamental skills. In conclusion,in the above paragraphs, we have seen that all people irrespective of their gender have the right to a job and they perform better than others. So I strongly agree with the statement that women can work if they want to and home chores should be managed by both.

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they lack clarity and precision. Ensure that the introduction provides a clear preview of the main points that will be discussed in the subsequent paragraphs, and the conclusion restates the main ideas and provides a concluding thought.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the task prompt but lacks clear and comprehensive ideas. Make sure to provide detailed and well-developed examples that directly relate to the main points presented in each paragraph. Additionally, ensure that all ideas are relevant to the question prompt and support the overall argument.
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