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Writing Samples
Band 6

Q. Teenagers should not be allowed to use mobile phones at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In
this
Linking Words
 modern era, some schools do not approve
teenagers
Change preposition
of teenagers
show examples
to
Change the verb form
using
show examples
use
Use synonyms
 their mobile
phones
Use synonyms
. Some individuals believe that teenagers should
be spend
Change the verb form
be spending
show examples
 their time with friends and concentrate to study while others disagree with
this
Linking Words
idea
Use synonyms
 and think that
they
Add a verb
arethey
werethey
show examples
 able to
use
Use synonyms
 mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 for learning
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, the reasons to support my disagreement will be discussed in detail.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, some people agree with
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
idea
Use synonyms
 that
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
 should not be allowed to
school
Use synonyms
 because some
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
 believe that the new generation does not concentrate to study because of
social
Add an article
the social
a social
show examples
addict
Replace the word
addiction
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, spending time with friends is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
essential things because nowadays there are many
teenager
Change to a plural noun
teenagers
show examples
 using their
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 during
Add an article
a conversation
show examples
conversation
Fix the agreement mistake
conversations
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, some individuals
addicted
Add a missing verb
are addicted
show examples
social
Change preposition
to social
show examples
 media when gathering, she often
Use synonyms
use
Change the verb form
uses
show examples
mobile
Add an article
a mobile
the mobile
show examples
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 and ignorant
others
Change preposition
of others
show examples
. It leads to
parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
show examples
 concern
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
since they need child gain more experience from the physical environment at
school
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, there are some people
disagree
Correct pronoun usage
who disagree
show examples
 with
this
Linking Words
idea
Use synonyms
 because they believe that youth can
use
Use synonyms
 mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 at
school
Use synonyms
 but teachers might limit
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
usage
such
Linking Words
 as students
able
Add a missing verb
being able
show examples
 to
use
Use synonyms
 their
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 when lunchtime.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, they could
use
Use synonyms
 it
faster searching
Add a hyphen
faster-searching
show examples
 information on the internet than opening books.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they
able
Add a missing verb
are able
show examples
 to record videos or take photos for collecting friends'
moment
Fix the agreement mistake
moments
show examples
. It is undeniable that
this
Linking Words
 reason is important when they look
backward
Change the spelling
backwards
show examples
 at that time, it is diamond memories. In conclusion, it can be seen that there are several reasons to support
this
Linking Words
idea
Use synonyms
. It is good to agree with
idea
Use synonyms
 that they should not
use
Use synonyms
 mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 at
school
Use synonyms
 but I
strongly
Add a missing verb
am strongly
show examples
 convinced that the views of disagreement
due
Add a missing verb
are due
show examples
 to the positive impacts as mentioned above.

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