IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In your letter describe the situation explain your problems and why it is difficult to work say what kind of accommodation you would prefer You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing in regard to addressing the issues that I am currently facing in my hostel
room
Use synonyms
 at your college, which is affecting my studies and work negatively.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, I am presently enrolled in the 2nd year of a chemical engineering bachelor's program in your college, and I have been living in the college hostel for more than a year.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 year, the hostel manager put me in a
room
Use synonyms
 with another student,
and
Correct word choice
apply
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 makes it difficult for me to concentrate on my studies. Because he is a fresher, he has a late-night party with his friends every week in our
room
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that,
this
Linking Words
room
Use synonyms
 only has one wardrobe, which results in no privacy for us.
Hence
Linking Words
, I would request you to assign me a private
room
Use synonyms
 so that I can focus on my assignment work and prepare for exams in a quiet environment. Thank you for considering my request
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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looking
Wrong verb form
I look
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 forward to hearing from you soon. Yours sincerely, Ketul Shah

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to have each problem explained in its own paragraph for better clarity.
task achievement
You could provide a little more detail about how the noise affects your study time.
task achievement
The letter has a clear purpose and a polite tone.
coherence and cohesion
The structure is mostly clear, with a greeting and closing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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