DOCTORS, NURSED AND TEACHERS MAKE A GREAT CONTRIBUTION TO SOCIETY AND SHOULD BE PAYED MORE THAN ENTERTAINMENT AND SPORTS CELEBRITIES. DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE.

#doctors #teachers #contribution #society #entertainment #sports #celebrities

The debate that which vocation makes a greater contribution to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

has gone

long

Change preposition

on long

show examples

enough. Many people believe that Doctors, Nurses and Teachers have a larger contribution to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

, and

hence

they should be compensated more than the

celebrities

from

sports

Correct article usage

the sports

show examples

entertainment

industry. I wholeheartedly disagree. In

this

essay, I will discuss the positive impacts that these

celebrities

make

Change preposition

show examples

our

society

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and the factors that should be considered

while

Correct word choice

when

show examples

deciding the pay of any profession.

Although

, there is no doubt

Change preposition

about

show examples

the fact that the work of a Doctor,

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Nurses

Fix the agreement mistake

Nurse

show examples

and a Teacher is the greatest service to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mankind,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

celebrities

from various industries like

entertainment

and

sports

can

also

have a transformational impact on people's lives. Both these industries,

for instance

, have brought positive change on issues like gender equality and domestic violence.

Moreover

, they are

also

responsible for spreading awareness

Change preposition

show examples

physical fitness amongst today's youth which is the future of our

society

. Clearly, one should not underestimate the change brought by

entertainment

and

sports

celebrities

. When it comes to remuneration of any profession, one should

also

consider

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

factor like the input cost or the expenses required to operate that business. Indeed,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sports

celebrities

are paid really well, but one should not neglect their journey when they have worked hard their whole life and invested heavily in their preparation to reach that level where they can bring glory to their country.

Similarly

, the cost of any good project in

entertainment

Add an article

the entertainment

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world can easily go in crores of rupees and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

celebrities

have to spend

huge

Add an article

a huge

show examples

amount

Fix the agreement mistake

amounts

show examples

on themselves to maintain that celebrity status. Since the cost is high, it will be reasonable to compensate these

professions

Replace the word

professionals

show examples

accordingly

This

essay discussed the contributions of

entertainment

and

sports

celebrities

to our

society

and the reasons

Change preposition

for

show examples

their pay being more than any other profession. While many want the pay of Doctors, Nurses and Teachers to be more than

the

Correct your spelling

that

show examples

celebrities

Change preposition

of celebrities

show examples

, I believe that all these professions are already being paid as per their contribution to mankind and their expenses to work.

Submitted by amanmalik640 on Mon Oct 10 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

349 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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DOCTORS, NURSED AND TEACHERS MAKE A GREAT CONTRIBUTION TO SOCIETY AND SHOULD BE PAYED MORE THAN ENTERTAINMENT AND SPORTS CELEBRITIES. DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Q. People who go to live in other countries, should follow the customs and traditions of the new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to ma￼ke people recycle more of their waste?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?