IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

In many developing countries, there is a problem with declining Quality of water and air from both industry and construction. What measures could be takenTo prevent this?

#countries #quality #water #air #industry #construction #measures #takento
The provided line chart depicts the
ratio
 of unemployed people in theUnited
States
 and
Japan
's labour pool in the United
States
 and
Japan
 between March 1993 and 1999. It is evident from the given graph that the
unemployment
 rate experienced two contradictory patterns throughout the given period. According to what is shown, the United
States
 had seven per cent of their
workforce
 jobless in March 1993.
Then
, the unemployed
ratio
 experienced a sharp decline since March 1993 and reached the 5.5 % mark in 1995, when it remained roughly the same for one more year. After that, the percentage of the unemployed
workforce
 dropped gradually to about 4% at the end of the period.
By contrast
, the unemployed
workforce
ratio
 in
Japan
 climbed slightly from 2.2 % to 3.5 % in the
first
 three years of the provided period.
In contrast
, it fluctuated around the exact figure for the
next
 two years. By the end of 1999, the
unemployment
 proportion in
Japan
 reached a peak of 4.5, which was more significant than the US
unemployment
ratio
. In summary, the United
States
 showed remarkable efforts to reduce the
unemployment
workforce
ratio
 while
Japan
's jobless proportion had increased.
Submitted by abdulla.alkaabi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: