Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

There have been different kinds of emotions in

Correct article usage

the humans

show examples

humans

Change noun form

humans'

human's

show examples

senses since the

first

time a person heard

Remove the article

music

a piece of music

show examples

music

or a

song

. These feelings can be anxiety, sadness , happiness or something else, which usually seem to be in the same

way

among different

people

. I totally agree that

music

can bring various cultures and ages together just by listening to a special

song

. In the continue, I would explain my reasons

Change preposition

for

show examples

this

argument.

First

of all, I believe that

music

is like a unique language all over the

world

, that every person gets a feeling while hearing a

song

Although

the feelings might vary,

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

most

people

feel the same

way

when a

song

is played.

For instance

, the national anthem of every country creates a sense of

proudness

Replace the word

pride

show examples

inside

Change preposition

show examples

its own

people

country

people

. By the

way

Add a comma

,way

show examples

to enjoy a certain kind of

music

, there is no need to learn anything, and

humans

Change the noun form

human

show examples

sensations

Change the verb form

are

show examples

provoking while

Remove the article

music

a piece of music

show examples

music

is playing instinctively.

Moreover

, local

musics

Change the wording

music

kinds of music

pieces of music

show examples

can show the cultural side of their public origin by using domestic instruments and tools or even poems in their songs.

Thus

other folks from overseas can be introduced through their local

musics

Change the wording

music

kinds of music

pieces of music

show examples

Additionally

Add a comma

,Additionally

show examples

it has been seen that

people

from different countries sing a special

song

at the same time while they have gathered to celebrate a ceremony without considering their ages or nationalities.

For example

, the soccer

World

Cup opening ceremony

song

which is held every four years is sung by various folks and their singers from different countries. To sum up, In spite of the fact that

music

is like a

unit

Replace the word

unified

show examples

language among all

people

, there is no specific learning needed to understand

this

language.

Also

music

from a far part of

world

Add an article

the world

show examples

is been listened

Change preposition

to in

show examples

every corner of the

world

and it is available for almost everyone.

Therefore

I agree that it can be a great

way

of consolidating

people

from different backgrounds around the

world

Submitted by smiiiter on Mon Oct 10 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

330 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it are more likely to have a satisfying working life than those who change jobs frequently. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

meals consumed by the USA population focusing on the three typical nutritions comprising sodium, saturated fat and added sugar found in each meal.

Friendships that take place online are not as meaningful as those where people meet each other face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays a growing number of people with health problems trying alternative medicine and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?