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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that international car free- day is an effective way to reduce air pollution. Others think there are more effective ways to do this. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #car #free- #air #pollution
Pollution
 is nowadays a turning topic regarding the environment and human health. It is often argued that having a
car free-day
Correct your spelling
car-free day
show examples
 is efficient,
however
, others believe there are better ways to reduce
pollution
 caused by cars.
This
 essay is going to deeply analyze the two situations in the next paragraphs. On one hand, a day when every person has to find other methods of transportation involves improvements in
people
's health and
also
 could cut down the percentage of carbon dioxide emitted to the atmosphere, improving air quality.
This
 is because not being permitted to
use
 an automobile could influence
people
 to
use
 healthier transportation,
such
 as bicycles and walking. In my experience
for example
, when I used non-motorized ways for some days, I started to feel fit and
further
 improved my cardiovascular system. On the
second
Correct word choice
other
show examples
 hand, improving public transportation for the general public could help diminish
pollution
 on an everyday basis. Considering that if buses and subways were fast and comfortable methods of transport,
people
 could choose to make less
use
 of their cars, as it is most of the time cheaper to
use
 the public systems. Since the world pandemic, it
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 costly
owning
Wrong verb form
to own
show examples
 a car, and
this
 result has led
people
 to
use
 more buses to go to work.
This
 can be an approach to reduce air impurity. In conclusion, I believe that reforming public transport is the best way to boost
pollution
 reduction and in the meanwhile have not only one day for
this
 cause but working towards
this
 daily.
This
 improvement could lead to many other benefits if studied correctly.
Submitted by augusto on

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coherence cohesion
Your introduction gives a good overview of the topic, but it could be more focused on the specific aspects you will discuss in the essay. Try to introduce the points of view you will cover more explicitly in the introduction.
task achievement
You have presented both points of view on the topic, and you have supported them with relevant examples. However, make sure to address the prompt more directly and provide a clearer opinion on which method you believe is more effective, instead of presenting both views as equally valid.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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