IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Nowadays more people are choosing to socialise online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #socialise #face #development
In recent years, there has been a new trend toward virtual communications and most
people
 prefer to interfere with each other face-to-
faceface
Correct your spelling
face face
face-face
. As far as I am concerned
this
 is a negative development due to the reasons which will be discussed in the following paragraphs. In my point of view, not only does affect our personalities in the virtual world, but
also
 it causes tremendous impacts on our mental and spiritual health. These ideas are derived from our nature and fundamental instincts, which separate us from robots, exclusively by our emotions. As a matter of fact, whenever
people
 intend to negotiate with someone else, they are seeking reactions. These responses lead us to build up our following relations.
Furthermore
, these interactions make a huge contribution to nurturing our personality. If you found a useful trait in someone, you would take an advantage of
this
 to improve your moral principles.
Besides
this
, sociable characters are more eager to meet
people
 in person and encounter them.
On the other hand
,
although
 the latest technologies pave the way for communications, we should not ignore the subsequent consequences on our health. It is not a denial that dissociation from the
real-world
Correct your spelling
real world
show examples
 leads to various psychologic illnesses. Most psychological obstacles are rooted in isolation and detachment from society and real life.
This
 sequestration impairs your judgement. To sum up, these days greater numbers of
people
 prefer to have discussions online in an implicit environment, whereas some other groups try to keep in touch with others face to face.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • social media platforms
  • online interactions
  • virtual communication
  • global community
  • interpersonal skills
  • digital divide
  • cyberspace
  • virtual presence
  • social networking
  • mental wellbeing
  • digital literacy
  • safe spaces
  • marginalized groups
  • face-to-face communication
  • socialisation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: