Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both school and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Children
nowadays tend to lead unhealthy lifestyles. Some people think that schools must be responsible for changing
this
bad way of life, while others think that
parents
should bear the main responsibility.
First
of all, due to the rapid development of contemporary society,
parents
nowadays are busier than
parents
in the past. They just have less time to take care of their
children
. So when it comes to
children
's diet,
parents
are more willing to give their
children
money to buy takeaway
food
at
school
, but when they buy
food
outside, no one cares. To
this
end,
parents
have a responsibility to ensure that their
children
eat a healthy diet. One solution is to provide them with lunch. Schools
also
play an important role in
this
regard, controlling the quality of
food
in the canteen and not allowing
children
to buy
food
outside. Another unhealthy lifestyle is that
children
don't care about keeping their area clean. At
school
, some students like to throw rubbish everywhere and can't keep their desks clean.
Besides
, they like to play with their friends, no matter
the
Correct word choice
whether the
show examples
place is clean or dirty. After playing, they hold the
food
with their hands and do not wash their hands. Everything they do may affect their health. Because of
this
,
school
teachers must guide
children
to have a healthy life and make relevant rules for it.
Parents
must
also
teach their
children
to keep clean often. To sum up, in order to change the unhealthy lifestyle of
children
, I think both
parents
and schools have the responsibility. While
parents
control and educate their
children
at home, teachers do it at
school
. That's how we give our kids a better future.
Submitted by melindaguan0704 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: