Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Over the
last
decades, there has been a leap forward in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mobile phone technology with countless advantages. A lot of juveniles, today, spend their time on their
smartphones
, and
this
situation can stem from several reasons. Both the reasons and my view is elaborated
further
passages.
First
off
Replace the word
of
show examples
all,
smartphones
help children to glean new knowledge from the Internet, it is one of the reasons for the disproportionate usage of
smartphones
. The Internet is full of information
concerning
Change preposition
of
show examples
many types, and children can use it with their
smartphones
.
For example
, a child might do
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
his
her
show examples
homework, which of requiring some knowledge, through the Internet.
Secondly
, it is irrefutable that online education is indispensable
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
under
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
some
Correct your spelling
same
show examples
stipulation like a pandemic. To illustrate, students did not go to their school at the peak level of
Covid-19
Correct article usage
the Covid-19
show examples
pandemic in 2021 owing to they can attend their classes using their
smartphones
.It is another supportive cause of the overuse of
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
by youngsters.
However
, I opine that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
operating a smartphone for hours might give rise to a few bothersome results eye diseases,
some
Correct word choice
and some
show examples
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
of mental illnesses alike. Additively,
likelihood
Correct article usage
the likelihood
show examples
is that its
prominent
Correct article usage
a prominent
show examples
cause of some juveniles
play
Wrong verb form
playing
show examples
mobile games through their
smartphones
on a daily basis. To give an example, a study conducted by the University of Berlin depicts that many teenagers who
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
ranged from 8 to 14 suffered from bullying. The more smallest hours of using their
smartphones
, the
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
healthier
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
teenagers
.
Add a missing verb
are.
show examples
This
is why I am regarded
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the overuse of
cellphones is
Correct your spelling
cell phones as
show examples
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
development. Overall, I agree that
smartphones
are one of the most important technological
apparatus
Fix the agreement mistake
apparatuses
show examples
in
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
world,
although
they have some adverse traits and it is likely to be beneficial that
smartphones
can use within
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
duration.
Submitted by artbeg on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
What to do next:
Look at other essays: