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Writing Samples
Band 6

In most countries, with the widespread of the use of Internet, people have more freedom to choose to work and study at home instead of travelling to work or college. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #internet #people #freedom #work #study #home #college
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Nowadays, with technology developed,
people
Use synonyms
 who are living in most countries have
freedom
Add an article
the freedom
show examples
 to choose
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work
Fix the infinitive
to work
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 or
study
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 at home
instead
Linking Words
 of
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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 to
office
Correct article usage
the office
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 or college. Some
people
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 think
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work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 or
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study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 at home with
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 is the advantage outweigh the disadvantage. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 mind. In most developed nations,
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 has been used in
widespread
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a widespread
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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.
People
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 can do their job or
study
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 online. They do not need to go to their office or school every day. Because they think distance
work
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 or
study
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 is more suitable for them. They can address their job everywhere and
every
Change preposition
at every
show examples
time
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.
For example
Linking Words
, you can see
people
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 using their
laptop
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laptops
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 and working on
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the bus
a bus
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bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
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 or on
Add an article
the train
a train
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train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
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, even in the library or in a cafe.
For the
Change preposition
The
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 simple reason is due to
Correct article usage
the high
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high speed
Add a hyphen
high-speed
show examples
internet
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 system.
Therefore
Linking Words
, through the
internet
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,
people
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 can do their job more
Correct your spelling
efficiency
efficiently
efficency
Correct your spelling
efficiently
 and convenience.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, distance
work
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 or
study
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 can help
people
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 save
time
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 and energy
consume
Replace the word
consumption
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although
Linking Words
 it might reduce some opportunities
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
community
Correct article usage
the community
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 face to face. It is because
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
people
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 do not need to spend lots of
time
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 on their way to their company or college, especially
at
Change preposition
during
show examples
 traffic
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
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. Meanwhile,
people
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 maybe do not need
office
Fix the agreement mistake
offices
show examples
any more
Correct your spelling
anymore
show examples
 because all the things could be done online. Thereby, saving
time
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, reducing energy
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
,
avoiding
Correct word choice
and avoiding
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pollution
Correct article usage
the pollution
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of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 traffic are benefits for
whole
Add an article
the whole
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 society. In conclusion, distance working or studying is a better way
Linking Words
Change preposition
than then
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then
Correct your spelling
the
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tradition
Replace the word
traditional
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method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
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. We’d better to
Add the particle
tocontinuing
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continuing
Replace the word
continually
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 develop technology in order to establish
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
faster and more stable
internet
Use synonyms
 system.
Submitted by kevin. B on

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Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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