IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries women are allowed to take maternity leave from their jobs during the first few months after the birth of their baby. Do advantages outweigh disadvantages?

#countries #women #maternity #jobs #first #months #birth #baby
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In my view
women
 should be given time to spend with their newly born babies to take care of them until they grow to a certain
months
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month
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 old
however
 there are limitations
for
Change preposition
to
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 providing
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
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 leave for certain
women
 who just got
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conceived
concieved
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conceived
 might
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affect
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effect
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affect
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 their financial situation if
thier
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their
 family completely depends on them economically but if
right
Add an article
the right
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 amount of time and care is not given to the
child
 they might fall terribly ill. keeping in view of
this
 many companies across different countries provides maternity leave in the beginning months of the
child
although
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in spite
inspite
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spite
 of having certain productivity issues within the organisation.
Although
 the baby is the foremost important aspect for a mother until the
child
 gets nutritionally benefitted through
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breastfeeding
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breast feeding
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breastfeeding
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 and other food intakes
in addition
 to
this
a
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apply
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proper care can never be taken by any other person other than the mother.There is a survey that said that children who
grows
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grow
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 under
shadow
Correct article usage
the shadow
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 of their mother
tends
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tend
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 to be more healthy and fit in their growing years,
this
 actually shows impact once the
child
 gets into a teenage. In
short
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,short
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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 would like to conclude that there are more advantages rather than disadvantages of providing extra time for
women
 with their children and
also
i
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I
show examples
 would suggest
few
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a few
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 recommendations for
further
more
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apply
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financial aid to the family if the woman is a single working parent which helps them economically stable ,
this
 gesture from the
componies
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companies
 might earn a loyal
employe
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employee
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 for them.
Also
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,Also
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 the organizations should hire some temporary staff while the absence of
women
 who are
in
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on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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leave
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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improves the productivity rate
in
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by
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 huge
number
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numbers
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.
By providing
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Providing
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 the basic salary to
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in charge
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the incharge
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incharge
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charge
 might not be considered
as
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a
show examples
 loss due to
balance
Correct article usage
the balance
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 of
work
Correct article usage
the work
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 graph
is
Wrong verb form
being
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 well maintained.
Submitted by pavan sai kumar janga on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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