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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some schools have restricted the use of mobile phones. Is this a positive development or a negative one?

#schools #phones #development
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In most schools all over the world,
students
Use synonyms
 have their own mobile phones regardless of their
ages
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age
show examples
. While these devices can undoubtedly play a pivotal role in safety, communication and even learning, many schools have chosen to restrain their
use
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 on campus. In
many
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any
show examples
view
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views
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,
this
Linking Words
 is a positive statement and can bring benefits not only academically, but
also
Linking Words
 physically and in terms of socially. Restricting phone
use
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 in the
Correct your spelling
classroom
classrom
Correct your spelling
classroom
 can improve learning.
This
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 is
purely
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pure
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 because, without these
type
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types
show examples
 of devices, there are far fewer distractions for
students
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 and teachers. To illustrate, when a student who got bored can take a glance at something
social
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on social
show examples
 media or messages alike on his/her phone.
This
Linking Words
 example may be not important for most people but
this
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 might lead to
be
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being
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teared
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torn
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from
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by
show examples
 their teachers and several
unfavorable
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unfavourable
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effect
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effects
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 on his/her academic career.
This
Linking Words
 kind of limitation during class
play
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plays
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 a
positively
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positive
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 role in their school life, furnishes them to focus
with
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apply
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more importantly.
In addition
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, banning phones in the classroom,
a
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and a
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school
restricts
Wrong verb form
restricting
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 their
use
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 outside
class
Add an article
the class
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 can
also
Linking Words
 expect
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improvements
inprovements
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improvements
 in the social ability of
students
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.
First
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 of all, if phones are banned at lunchtime and break, children are forced to engage in
a more meaningful issues
Correct the article-noun agreement
more meaningful issues
a more meaningful issue
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 with their classmates and
another
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another benefical activity
other benefical activities
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benefical
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beneficial
 activities including
to read
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reading
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 a book or magazine. They may play games,
sports
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or sports
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 or do something else and of course
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,
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socialise
each
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with each
show examples
 other and these all
of
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apply
show examples
activities
Add an article
the activities
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 are far healthier
Correct word choice
than
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that
Correct your spelling
than
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 sitting alone and
huncing
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hunting
hunching
 over a smartphone. These social and physical benefits are only possible with strict rules.
To
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In
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 conclusion,despite
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is irrefutable that smartphones are a crucial part of our lives, I strongly feel that their
use
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 in school should be limited. With these restrictions under
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
some
stipulation
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stipulations
show examples
,
students
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 are able to learn better,
fortify
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and fortify
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 friendships and social abilities.
Submitted by artbeg on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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