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Band 8

Nowadays young people spend too much of their free time on shopping malls. This has negative effects on themselves and the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #time #malls #effects #society
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Shopping malls play important roles in our lives.
However
, it is said that the youth is wasting a significant proportion of their free
time
 there which can affect themselves and the society they live in negatively.
Although
 malls can help them relax after
school
, I completely agree with
this
 statement for a number of reasons that will be outlined below A major benefit of shopping centres is that they can be used as a place of relaxation. Young
people
 can meet their friends or go shopping after
school
 which makes them feel less stressed. In fact, a recent poll in a university's Facebook group suggested that 82% of students voted for going shopping as the best way to reduce their stress levels.
As a result
, they can have better performances at
school
 without feeling overwhelmed. With that being said, there is an evident disadvantage to giving shopping malls a great amount of
time
. Young
people
 can not improve themselves because they do not have enough
time
 for other necessary tasks
such
 as doing homework or exercising. There was a study published by Harvard
last
 year that stated almost 95% of students forget their lessons when they do not spend
time
 reviewing after
school
.
Therefore
, they may experience worse scores along with a number of diseases from lack of physical activities In conclusion, despite the obvious benefit mentioned above, I think spending a great proportion of
time
 in shopping centres will have tremendous effects on young
people
 and society. I believe that the more young
people
 invest in themselves, the better they can contribute
Submitted by vuhuelinh578 on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • materialistic attitudes
  • excessive consumerism
  • sedentary lifestyles
  • peer pressure
  • financial irresponsibility
  • meaningful social relationships
  • family bonding
  • environmental degradation
  • commercial environments
  • productive activities
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