IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

In some countries, people are increasingly becoming vegetarians. Do the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

#countries #people #vegetarians
Nowadays, there is a growing trend that people becoming vegetarians. I believe the benefits outweigh
demerits
Correct article usage
the demerits
show examples
. Becoming vegetarian in modern life is so expensive. People that decide to not eat
meat
 have to buy lots of vitamins that
meat
 has.
Add an article
A human
The human
show examples
Human
Fix the agreement mistake
Humans
show examples
 that supplement vitamins have to pay about thirty dollars for only one packaging that
last
 one week.
For instance
, my cousin does not eat
meat
 and
spend
Correct subject-verb agreement
spends
show examples
 his own money to supplement
vitamnis
Correct your spelling
vitamins
.
Secondly
, vegetarians spend lots of free time preparing
food
.
Like
Change preposition
Meat
show examples
meat
 eaters are cutting chicken, baking
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
oven
Add an article
the oven
show examples
 and eating chicken. They spend on it about one hour but vegetarians need
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
prepering
Correct your spelling
preparing
food
 minimally two hours.
For example
, my aunt does not eat
meat
. She told me that she usually does
food
 for
her
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
two hours.
On the other hand
, becoming vegetarian can boost
Add an article
the country
show examples
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 economy.
In other words
, it costs a lot
among
Change preposition
apply
show examples
of money to breed animals
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
, kill them and win
meat
.
Moreover
,
factory
Add an article
a factory
the factory
show examples
 that makes vege
meat
 can make two times more
food
Correct word choice
than
show examples
that
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
show examples
meat
 at the same time.
For another
Change preposition
Another
show examples
 reason is
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
. Everybody
know
Change the verb form
knows
show examples
 that cows drop
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of carbon dioxide
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
atmosphere
Add an article
the atmosphere
show examples
. It
is widely know
Change the verb form
is widely known
show examples
 that our planet is
overload
Wrong verb form
overloaded
show examples
 with all chemicals from producing
meat
. In conclusion, even though being vegetarian is too costly, I believe that not eating
meat
 can boost
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
 and help
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
.
Submitted by bandrowskaagnieszka1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: