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Band 4.5

Computers are being used more and more in education, discuss the advantages and disvantages and give your opinion.

#computers #education #disvantages
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Computers are
one
 of the biggest discoveries of mankind.It helps us to get any information we need within
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 seconds. Starting from education to industrialisation,all markets are dependent on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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computational technology.According to my opinion,the
usage
 of
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a computer
show examples
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 is essential but unfortunately,it is in a way, taking up all the old good habits of people which were
practiced
Change the spelling
practised
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 primitively.
From
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In
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 the
last
 few decades,
the
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apply
show examples
 automation has taken over almost all manual
machineries
Change the wording
machinery
types of machinery
pieces of machinery
show examples
 throughout the world.
For example
,The pandemic of covid 19 infection in the year 2020
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 eventually made all of us
dependent
Replace the word
depends
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 entirely on our PC,Laptops and smartphones
instead
 of going and taking real classes in schools and colleges.
This
have
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has
show examples
 saved the year of millions of
Correct your spelling
children
childen
Correct your spelling
children
 and teenagers
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 schools and colleges all over the world.
However
,
usage
 of
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 or laptop
usage
 on daily basis is causing a lot of health issues.Cardiac diseases and obesity are
one
 of the major severe diseases
Correct your spelling
occurring
occuring
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occurring
 due to
sedentary
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the sedentary
show examples
 lifestyle of
the
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apply
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working adults these days.Evidently, children are getting fatter and prefer playing
videogames
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video games
show examples
 at home rather than playing outdoor games including cricket,football etc.World Health Organization has published an analysis on
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increasing
increased
increseng
Correct your spelling
increasing
 morbidity and mortality to about 20% due to
decrease
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the decrease
show examples
of
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in
show examples
 physical activities of
Correct your spelling
pediatric
peditric
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the peditric
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,adult and geriatric
population
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populations
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 all over the globe.
Additionally
,continuous
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focus
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focussing
Correct your spelling
focusing
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 on laptops and electronic
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
smart phones
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smartphones
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 leading to major visionary issues.
Therefore
,
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
 of
computer
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a computer
show examples
 is an obvious
Correct your spelling
necessity
neccessity
Correct your spelling
necessity
 nowadays.But,
one
 must keep in mind
regarding
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the harmful,
Correct your spelling
bizarre
Bizzare
bizzare
Correct your spelling
bizarre
 and adverse health conditions it can cause by its prolonged contact.
Thus
,
one
 must optimise handling gadgets and
also
 focus on their fitness
accordingly
.
Submitted by Ananya Saha on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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