IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In many countries more and more young people are leaving school but unable to find jobs

#countries #people #school #jobs
The Covid-19 pandemic has badly hurt the youth labour market. In recent years, many young peoples were unemployed immediately when they graduated from school. Some sent dozens of resumes but didn't get any response. If the situation can't be mitigated, that would be harmful to the individual and society. In
this
 essay, we'll discuss these issues and try to find possible solutions.
Firstly
, the employer tends to consider the long employment gap as a sign of personality disadvantage,
Therefore
 the minority will lose the job opportunity or just get a lower salary level job. the minority got more depression and a long employment gap.
Second
, the youth are delayed entering the workforce due to an unbalanced employment structure. It means that elders' boring working style and inefficient working flow would hardly be improved by the fewer newbies. In the long term, social activity and creativity would become less and less. The following are two ideas for fixing the problem: In the short term, one solution is that government could make policies to encourage enterprise owners to employ these young people,
For instance
, business owners can get tax deductions for employing these young people.
thus
, they would more focus on the benefit of the creation of newbies. But to tackle the problem at its roots, we need to improve the youth competitiveness in the labour market. our college should establish more career-oriented curriculums to match the needs of the labour market. that should consist of liberal-arts courses, life-skills programs, and training for a career. In conclusion, the unemployment of young people could affect the teens' future and society's development. both by society and government, are worth trying to help eliminate
this
 problem.
Submitted by hotxiao on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: