IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

People have a stronger liking for bad news, such as crimes and wars, than good news. Therefore, many people believe that more bad news should be broadcasted. What is your opinion?

#people #news #crimes #wars
A widely held notion within our society is that bad
news
 should be broadcasted to warn the people of the different dangers in their life. Contrary to
this
, I think that a lot of bad
news
 will make our life
tragedy
Correct article usage
a tragedy
show examples
. In
this
 essay, I will
further
 demonstrate the reasons behind my viewpoint.
First
 and foremost, receiving excessively
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bad
news
 lets our thinking become dramatic.
This
 is due
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 fact that when we usually hear
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bad
news
, we tend to imagine that everything will occur in
the
Change the article
a
show examples
 negative way. A clear illustration
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
 can be the case of the actors who acts in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dramatic films, and they cannot overcome
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 emotions of the
personal
Replace the word
person
show examples
, so they
still
Add a missing verb
are still
show examples
 always in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 sad mood for a
Correct your spelling
long time
show examples
longtime
Correct your spelling
long time
show examples
.
This
 trend is very dangerous for the citizen’s habits.
Instead
 of thinking about
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 better life, they become pessimistic.
Moreover
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people can imitate the bad
news
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their lives.
This
 is because they receive a lot of ideas about crimes and wars.
This
 negative suggestion leads them
therefore
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
terrible actions. A standard example can be the case of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children who often see the
violence
Replace the word
violent
show examples
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
TV. They always mimic it in their playtime: they fight each other for fun, or they tend to fight other kids when they do not have an accord.
Furthermore
, some criminals have got
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ideas from the bad
news
 to realize their crimes. To sum up,
popularize
Wrong verb form
popularising
show examples
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
lots
a lot
show examples
 of bad
news
 to the community represents a bad idea because It
discourage
Change the verb form
discourages
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
citizen and
influence
Change the verb form
influences
show examples
 them to do
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bad things. For these reasons,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
media developers should
be balance
Change the verb form
be balanced
show examples
 when spreading all
goods
Fix the agreement mistake
good
show examples
 or bad
news
Submitted by nguyenthanhngocbinh on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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