IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays there is more and more competition between older and younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this create? How can they be solved?

#competition #people #jobs #create
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From
Change preposition
Over
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 the
last
Linking Words
 few decades,a huge expansion of industrialization,trading centres and factories
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
Correct your spelling
occurred
occured
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occurred
.Eventually,the population working under
such
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 organizations includes a variety of both younger,medial and older generations.
However
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,the IT industries and newer startups are recruiting more younger candidates as compared to the experienced ones.
As a result
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,many issues are coming up.These complications are eventually
effecting
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affecting
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 the stability of
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recruitment
recruitement
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recruitment
 in both national and international companies.I feel that there are several ways to solve these issues, which I will explore in the following paragraphs. Currently,due to
increase
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the increase
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 in automation in all
kind
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kinds
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 of industries,many employees of our previous generation were sacked.The major causes were mainly because of their lack of proper knowledge regarding computers and other newer upgraded soft skills.
For example
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,the whole IT industry is based on
data
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 science.
Data
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 collection and
data
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Correct your spelling
analysis
ananlysis
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analysis
 are complete newer subjects.They have emerged within the
last
Linking Words
 few years.Earlier,no
such
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 subject existed in our curriculum.Eventually, during the
recessesion
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recession
 in the year 2010,many
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middle-aged
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middle aged
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middle-aged
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 and geriatrics
of
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in
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70s
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the 70s
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 and 80s were jobless.It is not acceptable in a country like
india
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India
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 as it is
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overcrowded
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over crowded
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overcrowded
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 by
such
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huge
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a huge
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 population.
Thus
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 ,
as a result
Linking Words
 ,
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government
goverment
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government
authories
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authorises
authorities
 must take
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the initiatives
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initiatives
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initiative
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 in maintaining a balance of both manual and
automatation
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automation
industry
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industries
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 for employees with all varieties of age groups.
Additionally
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,private as well as autonomous companies must educate their workers regarding
data
Use synonyms
 handling.
Nevertheless
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,newer books and computer labs
has
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have
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 been established in almost 98% of the schools and institutions all over the globe by the
authoritiesThey
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authorities they
 were claimed compulsory and mandatory for learning for all age groups. Certain courses and training from industries and identical institutions must be helpful.It will guide the older population to continue their jobs peacefully and support their family.
Thus
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this
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 major conflict can be minimised by taking tiny steps by all of us.
Submitted by Ananya Saha on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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