IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In some countries, more and more adults are continuing to live with their parents even after they have completed education and found jobs. Do the advantages outweight disadvantages?

#countries #adults #parents #education #jobs #outweight
few countries, increasing
Correct your spelling
frequently
fequently
Correct your spelling
frequently
 adults are continuing to live with their
parents
 even after they have completed study's and
also
 started their career as well . the trend is
pro
Fix the agreement mistake
pros
show examples
 are more than cons. in
this
 essay benefits and drawbacks
outline
Add a missing verb
are outline
show examples
 in that .
to begin
, there are serval advantages of living with their
parents
 after
graduate
Replace the word
graduation
show examples
 and finding jobs.
firstly
, living with their
parents
 is having
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 huge support of their
parents
 while taking decisions.in other
word
Fix the agreement mistake
words
show examples
, children's getting older but they aren'
t
 that much experience
than
Change preposition
as
show examples
 their
parents
 and
parents
 are aware of everything thing because they
are go
Change the verb form
are going
show examples
 through all the
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
 in their lives.
for instance
, In
pakistan
Change the capitalization
Pakistan
show examples
 almost family
parents
 are living with kids and kids take benefits from their
parents
.In my family whenever
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 need any advice so go towards my
parents
.
moveover
Correct your spelling
moreover
move over
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would like to outline one more
advantages
Change to a singular noun
advantage
show examples
 of living in a
join
Correct your spelling
joint
show examples
 family.when
parents
 are living with you so there less responsibility on their
shoulder's
Change noun form
shoulders
show examples
. to
illustrates
Wrong verb form
illustrate
show examples
, my cousin
love
Change the verb form
loves
show examples
 to live with their
parents
 because he isn'
t
 that responsible to live along
on the other hand
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 too many benefits
Correct your spelling
doesn't
dosen'
Correct your spelling
doesn't
show examples
t
 mean that there
no
Add a missing verb
are no
show examples
 drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 living with
parents
. some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people's are living with their
parents
 have some issues
such
 as
parents
interfere
Wrong verb form
interfering
show examples
 in
personal
Add an article
a personal
show examples
matter
Fix the agreement mistake
matters
show examples
.
in
Change preposition
On
show examples
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
other hand
Change the wording
another hand
other hands
show examples
, some
parents
 try to put their decisions on them.
for example
, my
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
 are living
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 a
Correct your spelling
joint
show examples
join
Correct your spelling
joint
show examples
 family and he's
most
Correct your spelling
almost
show examples
 getting problems in
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 because his
parents
 interact in
Correct your spelling
their
there
theri
Correct your spelling
their
matter's
Change noun form
matters
show examples
.
furthermore
, one more point rise of living with their
parent's
Change noun form
parents
show examples
.
such
 as many
parents
doesn'
Change the verb form
don't
show examples
t
 give them
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
freedom of living
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
alone and put
presser
Correct your spelling
pressure
show examples
 on them . to wrap up, in some
country's
Change noun form
countries
show examples
, constant increase
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
adults
Correct quantifier usage
number of adults
show examples
 living with their after
complete
Wrong verb form
completing
show examples
 their degree and finding
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
 but there are advantages of living with their
parents
 rather than a drawback.I outline some of
Add an article
the benefit
show examples
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
such
 as
huge
Correct article usage
the huge
show examples
 support of their
parents
 while taking decisions and
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 responsibilities as well as .
Submitted by aahil922 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial benefits
  • emotional support
  • intergenerational bonding
  • shared responsibility
  • convenience
  • comfort
  • dependency
  • privacy concerns
  • personal freedom
  • cultural expectations
  • social stigma
  • delayed milestones
  • cohabitation
  • autonomy
  • rent and utilities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: