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Writing Samples
Band 5

We live in a world of techgnology theses days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems interms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages. To what extent do you agree?

#world #techgnology #theses #internet #interms #control #security #information
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Recently, there have been arguments that we live in a society of
technology
Use synonyms
 which has
a great deal of
Change the quantifier
a lot of
many
plenty of
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 merits for our life.
Although
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,
as for
Change preposition
apply
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the
control
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 and
security
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 of information are out of the merits. I
partically
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partially
particularly
 agree with
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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stattements
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statement
statements
 because of two reasons.
Firstly
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
technology
techgnology
Correct your spelling
technology
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 our life easier for
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searching
serching
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searching
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for informations
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informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
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 whatever you want, constantly
people
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 can contact
with
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apply
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other
people
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moreover
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, it is
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possible
posible
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possible
 to
control
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 so many systems through
technology
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. In
present
Add an article
the present
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 era, we cannot live without
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technologies
Fix the agreement mistake
technology
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 due to present
people
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delay
dely
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delay
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
technologies
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 every day.
In addition
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, there are huge advantages to
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use
Wrong verb form
using
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technologies
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such
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 as
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technology
Add an article
the technology
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 of hospitality which makes us live much longer than
old
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in old
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 times.
For
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In
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 many situations,
technology
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are
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is
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 able to help our society and protects us.
Thus
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
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have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 much
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influence
influences
influaneces
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influence
 to steady our life longer.
Secondly
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,
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
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 of using
technologies
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 which are
control
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 and
security
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.
Through new
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New
show examples
 things always come up some demerits as well, generally. These disadvantages are one of
the
Remove the article
apply
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our
theams
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themes
teams
 for political things as well. Along
to
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with
show examples
Correct your spelling
developing
diveloping
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developing
 the
security
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Correct your spelling
skills
skilles
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skills
, the
Change the capitalization
Harkers
hackers
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harkers
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harker's
harkers'
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 skills
also
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 have improved.
Thus
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, it is hard to keep
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safety
sarfty
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safe
 to
use
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technology
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. From
this
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 situation, we should
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divide
deivide
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decide
 situations which is possible to
use
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technology
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 or not. In conclusion, some
people
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Correct your spelling
believe
belieave
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believe
 that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
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is much relate
Change the verb form
is much related
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 to
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 world as new things though, no
Correct pronoun usage
one
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ones
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one
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 say that it is
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safe
sarfty
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safe
 to
use
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 because
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
control
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 and
security
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 issues.
People
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 should divide situations and consider
to
Change the verb form
using
show examples
use
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it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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