In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a results od eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for government to impose a higher tax on this kind of food

In the
last
decades,
Correct article usage
the food's
show examples
food's
Change noun form
food
show examples
industry has grown
esponentially
Correct your spelling
exponentially
, especially when it comes to chains of fast
food
. The presence of fast
food
restaurants all around the world increased health
Correct your spelling
diseases
deseases
Correct your spelling
diseases
among individuals and
also
the
Correct your spelling
availability
availabilty
Correct your spelling
availability
of junk
food
.
As
Change preposition
In
show examples
my point of view, the
government
has to take
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
show examples
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
sector to reduce the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of clients who are searching for a cheap meal and
Correct your spelling
encouraging
encouring
Correct your spelling
encourage
people to eat
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
a local bistrò
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the city
For example
, they should increase the tax on meat production and give
discount
Fix the agreement mistake
discounts
show examples
on meals at local restaurants.
On the other hand
,
this
can lead
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
a reaction from fast
food's
Change noun form
food
show examples
chains, and
honestly
Add a comma
,honestly
show examples
I don't want to imagine what can happen.
For instance
, after the intervention of
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
, the fast
food
industry can still reduce the money for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
production and give us worse
food
. There could be some
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
that I'm not considering right now,
such
lawsuit. In conclusion, I rely on my
government
and I'm convinced that they are already thinking about
this
problem, in order to guarantee better health conditions
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
their citizens.
Moreover
, I think
that is
not easy to deal with the big powerful lobby of fast
foos
Correct your spelling
food
foods
, because they have a lot of weight on the economy,
thus
I encourage
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
of each state to collaborate and find a solution together.
Submitted by tommasobelgrano02 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • fast food consumption
  • higher tax
  • discourage
  • government intervention
  • tax revenue
  • health promotion programs
  • education and awareness campaigns
  • negative effects
  • healthcare
  • fast food companies
  • healthier options
  • offset the cost
What to do next:
Look at other essays: