Some people think that a job provides not only an income but also a social life. Other people think that it is better to develop a social life with people you do not work with. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Work is a prevalent topic of discussion among people.
While
some argue that work should encompass both earnings and social interaction, others believe these two aspects should be kept separate. I align with the latter perspective.
Many advocate for the separation of social life from income, arguing that it fosters a better balance and promotes personal growth among employees. This
approach allows individuals to spend quality time with their families, which can reduce stress and enhance their knowledge and skills. Ultimately, this
leads to improved positions in their professional lives. Furthermore
, keeping work-related worries distinct from family life positively impacts an individual’s overall
well-being. When a person knows their concerns are limited to their job rather than involving family members, it can lead to a healthier mindset.
From my perspective, one of the most essential aspects of limiting social interaction in the workplace is the safety it provides against various challenges. Establishing clear boundaries helps prevent conflicts, and these boundaries also
foster strong relationships
. When people recognize our limits, they learn how to interact with us appropriately, which ultimately contributes to a more harmonious work environment.Moreover
, it helps us create a more positive environment where everyone is valued equally and recognized based on their abilities rather than their relationships
with management. Such
an environment fosters inclusivity and encourages all individuals to thrive.
While
some people argue that socializing is an integral part of our workplaces, I completely reject it . Although
better interactions with colleagues can help us flourish, they can also
distract us from our primary goals. For example
, in some companies, relationships
may take precedence over performance, leading to competition based on personal connections rather than merit. This
focus can hinder our ability to achieve our objectives and may even isolate us from the true spirit of teamwork.
In conclusion, the ideal workplace should encourage employees to maintain some distance in their relationships
. This
approach helps prevent distractions and loss of focus.Submitted by homa.nazrmian56 on
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Task Achievement
Try to balance the discussion on both views more evenly. While you have expressed your opinion well, one side of the argument seems to be discussed more than the other. Make sure to elaborate on the advantages of having a social life at work too.
Task Achievement
Use more specific examples to illustrate your points. This can help in making your arguments more convincing and relatable for the reader.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph connects logically to the next. Consider using transitional phrases to aid the flow of ideas between paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each main point is supported with enough detail and examples. This will enhance the overall persuasiveness of the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and help frame your argument well, making your stance clear to the reader.
Task Achievement
You've addressed the task and included your opinion with clarity. This shows that you understand the requirements of the essay question.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example