IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that schools should give prizes for academic successes. Others argue that it is more important for schools to give prizes for other achievements (for example, for sports, music and behaviour). Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #schools #prizes #successes #achievements #sports #music #behaviour
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
schools
Use synonyms
 should give them a handsome for academic achievement.
other
Correct pronoun usage
Others
show examples
think
Correct your spelling
thing
show examples
 that
isit
Correct your spelling
is it
is
it
 more crucial for
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
give
Fix the infinitive
to give
show examples
prizes
Use synonyms
 for other successes
such
Linking Words
 as different
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 and skills.
In
Change preposition
This
show examples
this
Linking Words
 essay should
briefing
Wrong verb form
brief
show examples
 on the perspective view and give a personal opinion as well.
although
Linking Words
, in my ,opinion
schools
Use synonyms
 management should give
prizes
Use synonyms
 for the other achievements of kids.
to begin
Linking Words
,
Schools
Use synonyms
 give more preference to the other department
such
Linking Words
 as sports and music. it
very
Add a missing verb
is very
show examples
 important for the kids to focus on the different
such
Linking Words
 as
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 because they are
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 who
represent
Change the verb form
represents
show examples
 their country on the national
levels
Fix the agreement mistake
level
show examples
.
for instance
Linking Words
, in
pakistan
Change the capitalization
Pakistan
show examples
 city
schools
Use synonyms
 give a handsome amount to the
students
Use synonyms
 who
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 talent in sports departments. city school
also
Linking Words
 produce the
world
Change noun form
world's
show examples
 number one batmans of Pakistan Babar Azam.
moveover
Correct your spelling
moreover
move over
, mostly of
people
Use synonyms
 thinks by giving them
prizes
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their skill.
such
Linking Words
 as
schools
Use synonyms
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
 confidence to their
students
Use synonyms
 to work hard on their natural talents .
in other words
Linking Words
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
schools
Use synonyms
 reward
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Use synonyms
students
Change to a genitive case
student's
students'
show examples
 talents in singing . to illustrate, when my cousin was in 6
standard
Change to a plural noun
standards
show examples
. he was very
talent
Replace the word
talented
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 singing
his
Correct word choice
and his
show examples
 school give him
reward
Correct article usage
a reward
show examples
 so now he's the best singer in the world
on the other hand
Linking Words
, Some
people
Use synonyms
 argued that
give
Replace the word
giving
show examples
prizes
Use synonyms
 for their education is more important rather than giving rewards
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their skills.
such
Linking Words
 as if
schools
Use synonyms
 give
prizes
Use synonyms
 to the
students
Use synonyms
 for their grades so
students
Use synonyms
 do more hard work in
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
show examples
. they get their
desire
Replace the word
desired
show examples
job's
Change the noun form
jobs
job
show examples
 and handsome salaries.
for example
Linking Words
, in
America
Add a comma
,America
show examples
 if someone
score
Change the verb form
scores
show examples
good
Change the adjective
well
show examples
 in
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
secondary
Use synonyms
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
 so he'll get scholarships for high
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
.
furthermore
Linking Words
, some believe that giving
prizes
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
academic achievement
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more
consider
Wrong verb form
considered
show examples
. because
schools
Use synonyms
 motivate their
students
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their good grades in academic so
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
 good doctors and It managers as well. to sum up, on the one side
people
Use synonyms
thinks
Add the particle
tothinks
show examples
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
prizes
Use synonyms
 for academic purpose is more important and
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
 side of
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
 rewards for skills and talents are more important. in my opinion, giving
prizes
Use synonyms
 to the
students
Use synonyms
 who have
naturally
Change the adverb
natural
show examples
 talent . they can
reserve
Correct your spelling
preserve
show examples
 their country as well and that good
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 confidence to their passions
Submitted by aahil922 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: