IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In some countries, there is not enough recycling of waste materials (e.g. paper, glass and cans). What are the reasons and solutions?

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Improving the recycling rate of
waste
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materials
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 has been a hot subject since the emergence of raw
materials
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 shortage at the beginning of
this
Linking Words
 century.
However
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, relevant efforts seem not to achieve the expected effects in many nations. It seems to me that the reason behind the issue is that we lack effective reward mechanisms. The first issue has been common, namely, we loudly advocate for
people
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 to engage in environmental activities but do not offer them rewards. The Football World Cup held in Germany provides a vivid illustration of how willing
people
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 are to recycle
waste
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materials
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 when offered considerable rewards. The organisers will repay each customer two dollars for helping recycle Coke bottles, which has significantly increased the recycling rate of Coke bottles. The example has clearly indicated that the
government
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 lead
people
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 to be environmental with practical benefits rather than eloquent words. Against the issue mentioned above, I suggest the
government
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 allocate more funds to reward
people
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 for recycling
waste
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materials
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.
This
Linking Words
 proposal can be realised in many forms, not only in the form of immediate refund as adopted by the German
government
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.
For example
Linking Words
, the
government
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 can set up "Recycling ATMs" in the street. If burghers throw metal cans or plastic bottles into the machine, it will print to them vouchers which can be used in local supermarkets.
According to
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 Japan's experiments,
this
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 strategy is considerably useful. To summarize, the comparatively low recycling rate of
waste
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materials
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 in some countries is partly
due to
Linking Words
 the lack of economic stimulus.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I suggest the
government
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 consider more investment into material rewards, which has been demonstrated by many countries as an effective strategy.

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coherence cohesion
Make sure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. More linking phrases or words could be utilized to ensure the flow of the discussion.
task achievement
You could enhance the task response by delving deeper into other possible reasons and solutions for low recycling rates, offering a broader perspective.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the essay by stating the problem and hinting at the solution.
relevant specific examples
The examples provided, especially mentioning the Football World Cup in Germany, are relevant and strengthen your argument.
supported main points
You clearly outline a practical solution in the form of 'Recycling ATMs', demonstrating creativity and practicality.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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