IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

In many countries, people now wear western clothes such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this the case? Is this a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #clothes #suits #jeans #case #development
In the present day, the way
people
 dress has changed a lot compared to before.
However
, not so that the traditional costumes are forgotten, some are still used in the traditional holidays.
On the other hand
, it is really difficult to maintain the same way of dressing as before.
This
 essay will discuss why
this
 problem happening and indicate whether it is a positive or negative issue.
First
 of all, currently, social networks are very developed in most countries around the world, so it is natural for
new generation
Add a hyphen
new-generation
show examples
clothes
 to become a trend. Most
people
 in the world love modern
clothes
 because it is trendy and comfortable. They are created because of the need to dress both politely, and lightweight, easy to wear. Not only that, the materials, colours, and designs are in line with the user's wishes. From there, we can see that they are very different
between to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
types of
clothes
, old
clothes
 are often difficult to wear because there are many layers and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fabric. An example of how old
clothes
 seem to disappear is that most jeans, shorts,
t-shirts
Correct word choice
and t-shirts
show examples
 are being sold because of user demand.
Although
 we know that today's society uses new
clothes
, it brings many negative effects to traditional
clothes
. It is inevitable that later generations will forget the costumes created by their ancestors.
This
 leads us to lose our country's traditions.
For example
, the Ao Dai, a typical Vietnamese costume, has existed for a long time and until today, there have been many new variations.
However
,
this
 can destroy the morale that the costume brings to the
people
. In conclusion,
people
 use fashionable outfits because of their popularity.
On the contrary
,
this
 has negatively affected
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
costume culture from the past to the present. That's why I think it is still a good idea to preserve traditional
clothes
 to pass on to future generations.
Submitted by diemdt on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: