IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

The most important function of music is that it helps people reduce stress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#function #music #people #stress
In recent times, the level of
stress
 in people has increased drastically. Several methods are being used to reduce the
stress
 level;
however
,
music
 has been proven as one of the soothing and
stress
 buster
technique
Fix the agreement mistake
techniques
show examples
 to control
stress
. The essay will argue on
importance
Add an article
the importance
show examples
 of
music
 to decrease
stress
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
. With increasing competition in every field, people have been occupied by continuous hardworking and
stress
. There are several ways to get relax and calm down from routine activities. Listening or playing
music
 diverts
mind
Correct article usage
the mind
show examples
 and takes a person to a different space because it stimulates the mind to generate dopamine which creates happiness. A recent survey conducted in Germany shows that
music
 helps to recover patients who are mentally disturbed and over
tensed
Replace the word
tense
show examples
.
Moreover
, the advantages and remedial effects of
music
 on the human brain
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 enormous because it assists to protect from distractions.
Hence
, in some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries,
music
Add an article
the music
show examples
 got
Add an article
a place
show examples
place
Wrong verb form
placed
show examples
 in
educational
Add an article
the educational
show examples
 curriculum.
For instance
, Austria is a country in Europe which has implemented
music
 as a mandatory subject in higher education. As discussed in the above paragraphs,
music
 helps to avoid tension and create happiness in human beings, and because of that I strongly believe that
music
 helps to reduce
stress
.
Submitted by rafikshama on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: