In many countries, people have health problems because they choose to live in unhealthy ways. what do you think the reasons for this and how can it be solved?

Health is wealth. Even if

this

is true citizens around the globe don't value their health and get involved in a series of activities which deteriorate their health. There are various reasons why

people

are becoming unhealthy and I will discuss them in the below essay.

To begin

with, nowadays

people

are working from home. They have acquired a sedentary lifestyle in which they sit at desks for elongated hours and work.

Furthermore

, there is a variety of mobile applications which

delivers

Correct subject-verb agreement

deliver

show examples

food, groceries and clothes for free of cost at the doorstep

due to

which the need to move or travel has been minimised.

For example

, as per a recent survey done by Mumbai

university

Capitalize word

University

show examples

, 65% of

people

tend to buy items online to avoid stepping out of their houses and dealing with the salesperson as they get more discounts if they buy online.

Furthermore

people

enjoy sitting at home and watching movies as there are a plethora of platforms which has intriguing sitcoms that really hook the viewers for a couple of hours.

Hence

this

kind of laid-back attitude has not only made

people

unhealthy but

also

unfit. Even if

above-discussed

Correct article usage

the above-discussed

show examples

reasons are true there are ways to overcome these problems.

Firstly

, companies should give their employees free gym and yoga subscriptions which can push them to step out of their comfort zone and get involved in some physical activities.

Secondly

, everyone should try to challenge each other by completing some physical goals and sharing their success stories via social media. To exemplify, during a global pandemic the prime minister of India was seen sharing his yoga poses to encourage

people

to do yoga.

Moreover

, companies should resume their natural way of working and start inviting their employees back into the office to work twice a week.

Therefore

this

will not only make

people

fit but

also

physical movements can reduce visceral body fat.

Lastly

, in my opinion, it depends on person to person how he treats his body and what he does to get back in shape to live a longer life.

Submitted by sanketswami8193 on Fri Oct 14 2022

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task response

To improve task response, make sure to address all aspects of the essay prompt and provide more detailed explanations and examples. Focus on discussing both the reasons for people choosing unhealthy ways and the solutions to overcome this.

coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence and cohesion, work on organizing your ideas more clearly with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Use transition words to connect your ideas and maintain a logical flow throughout the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

345 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries, people have health problems because they choose to live in unhealthy ways. what do you think the reasons for this and how can it be solved?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

"Nowadays, the way people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? Type two: type one is this alright?"

Some people think that robots are important for human future development. Others think that robots have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are required to make people recycle more of their waste?

nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. why might this be the case? what could be the disadvantages of being self-employed