IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Sales companies often try to recruit people who are motivated by money, as they believe that it will make them work harder. do you believe people are motivated to work hard by money and what other factors should be considered when searching for new sales staff?

#sales #companies #people #money #work #factors #staff
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Marketing
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
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 often consider that monetary
perk
Fix the agreement mistake
perks
show examples
 can help to achieve
best
Change the article
the best
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 output from a
person
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 there are many other
factor
Change the wording
factors
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Add the comma(s)
, for example,
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for example
Linking Words
 a
person
Use synonyms
’s
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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, outlook, education and prior experience cannot be overlooked while hiring someone.
In the
Change preposition
The
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 following paragraphs will talk about
the
Remove the article
apply
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both perspectives in detail. On the one hand, being wealthy enough to be able to feed your family and provide them with the basic need of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life is always
prioritize
Wrong verb form
prioritised
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 by an individual,
hence
Linking Words
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
luring someone with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tempting incentives and salary can get the best out of a
person
Use synonyms
. If you have a roof
on
Change preposition
over
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 the top, food to eat,
money
Correct word choice
and money
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 to educate your
offspring’s
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offspring
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 you would not be all the time worried and can focus more on your duties which in turn will yield more profit for the company.
For example
Linking Words
, most managers don't mind staying late to complete their tasks.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a
person
Use synonyms
’s background or
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
earlier work experience is
also
Linking Words
 a key requirement while recruiting
for example
Linking Words
 latest research published in the Paris newspaper highlighted the point that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employers prefer to hire a
person
Use synonyms
 with already good command
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their work so that, they can immediately start and there would be no need of orientation sessions and waste of time. In conclusion, higher salaries and
sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales
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 commissions can move a
person
Use synonyms
Change preposition
to in
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in
Correct your spelling
an
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organization
Add an article
the organization
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 for more productivity but, in the long term
interest
Add a comma
,interest
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 the degrees a
person
Use synonyms
 is holding or the number of
Change noun form
years
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years’
Correct your spelling
years
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experience
Change preposition
of experience
show examples
 they have must be kept in mind.
Submitted by ammaramaqsood60 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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