IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Water is a natural resource that should always be free. Governments should ban the sale of bottled water. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
In
this
Linking Words
 modern era, it is undeniable that natural resources need to be preserved for the future. Some individuals think that
people
Use synonyms
 should not buy
water
Use synonyms
bottles
Use synonyms
, and they should be free for them. I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, and in
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss my thoughts with an explanation.
Firstly
Linking Words
, folks drink a lot of
water
Use synonyms
 every day and throw the
water
Use synonyms
bottles
Use synonyms
 on the road. To elaborate, when
people
Use synonyms
 drink
water
Use synonyms
, they have to spend a lot of money to buy
water
Use synonyms
bottles
Use synonyms
 , and after drinking it, they throw the
water
Use synonyms
bottles
Use synonyms
 on the road or street , thereby making the environment bad .
For instance
Linking Words
, as per a recent report by the Department of Indian Environment, 80% of plastic in the cities is empty
water
Use synonyms
bottles
Use synonyms
 because
people
Use synonyms
 don’t throw them in the recycle bin after drinking them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
water
Use synonyms
bottles
Use synonyms
 are a business for some
people
Use synonyms
, and a number of
people
Use synonyms
 are working for these companies. To clarify, many workers depend on
this
Linking Words
 business because they make these
bottles
Use synonyms
, and some fill these
bottles
Use synonyms
 with
water
Use synonyms
 in the factories.
For example
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 the COVID-19 pandemic, Amazon had fired a number of employees to cover their costs, but
due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 action, many employees were effected and they got unemployed, and went into debt. In conclusion,
water
Use synonyms
bottles
Use synonyms
 need to be banned because
people
Use synonyms
 bring environment problems by throwing them on the ground , but by putting a ban on these
bottles
Use synonyms
, many employees will be affected badly by
this
Linking Words
 decision.
Thus
Linking Words
, I did not completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make your main view more exact. The topic asks if bottled water sales should be banned, not only if water should be free. Say clearly which sales you want to ban and why.
task response
Your first main point is mostly about plastic bottles being thrown away. Explain more clearly why a ban on sales is the best answer. You could also talk about reuse bottles, safe public water, and rules for plastic waste.
task response
The point about jobs is useful, but the Amazon and COVID example is not about bottled water. Use an example that is linked to water companies, such as workers moving to jobs in refill stations or public water services.
task response
Give more full support for both sides. For example, say that clean water should be free in public places, but bottled water may still be needed in places with no safe tap water.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each body part focused on one idea. In the first part, begin with plastic waste, explain its harm, then link it back to banning bottled water sales.
coherence and cohesion
Some links between ideas are not clear. For example, buying water bottles and throwing bottles on roads are two different points. Add short links such as “This creates more plastic waste” or “As a result, cities become less clean.”
coherence and cohesion
Your ending should match your view in the start. You say you partly agree, but then say bottles need to be banned. State a balanced final view, such as: free public water should be given, while bottled water sales should be reduced rather than fully banned.
coherence and cohesion
Use the same words for the key idea. “Water bottles” can mean empty plastic bottles, while “bottled water” means water sold in bottles. This will make your meaning clearer.
task response
You give a clear view: you partly agree. You also give two main sides: waste from plastic bottles and jobs linked to bottled water.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending. Words such as “Firstly”, “On the other hand”, and “In conclusion” help the reader follow your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Water
  • Natural resource
  • Free
  • Governments
  • Ban
  • Sale
  • Bottled water
  • Access
  • Clean
  • Inequality
  • Profit
  • Pollution
  • Environmental
  • Concern
  • Community
  • Health
  • Disease
  • Alternative
  • Public
  • Support
What to do next:
Look at other essays: